• BanjoShepard@lemmy.world
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    25 days ago

    That’s all fine and dandy until they misbehave and you can’t follow through by sending them to school on the weekend.

    • stoicwisesigma@thelemmy.club
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      25 days ago

      This is just one of the many examples of why parents today have grown so soft and refuse to give any true punishment to their children. Back in ye good old days when I was a wee lad I went to school 12 hours straight no breaks or anything and if I didn’t my dad broke a metal chair over my rear end. Then all the sudden the democrats took over and things suddenly got worse. Overall I think people should definitely toughen up and parent their kids more effectively if they want to defeat crooked B*den and make America great again.

    • lemmyman@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      This kid will start pushing this boundary in like 3 weeks (like every kid pushes every damn boundary all the time) and then OP will have a problem on their hands, when the kid decides that OP is toothless.

    • Kusimulkku
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      24 days ago

      You could try to make up some other shit to cover for it, how school told them that the kid needs to do chores at home for those two days or something. With their system it’d make sense to have a plan for this situation.

      Or you just enjoy it while it lasts and drop it when it fails

      • lugal@lemmy.world
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        24 days ago

        At some point the kid will talk to other kids and find out they don’t attend school on weekends either. Unless they hate school that much that they don’t socialize with other kids which would be worrying as well

            • Kusimulkku
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              24 days ago

              I’d also tell the kid they’re imagining it

        • redisdead@lemmy.world
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          23 days ago

          The only way to get my nephew to eat greens was to tell him that the green mash was made with green potatoes (instead of broccoli, and peas). When he realized that there were no such thing as green potatoes, he moved on instantly because kids aren’t fucking dwarfs carrying a book of grudges in which they record every single slight.

          They’re kids, they move on.

          He’ll be more annoyed about it later as an adult when grandma tells the story of the green potatoes for the 20th Christmas party in a row.

    • 🇰 🔵 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.net
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      24 days ago

      I totally could send them to school on the weekend.

      Saturday is when the schools around here typically have detention. I’ll just email the school and have the kid go to detention. Then on Sunday: Sunday school at a church.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    24 days ago

    Sure, I fantasize about doing this sort of shit with my kid sometimes too.

    But you don’t do it.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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        24 days ago

        I can’t speak for other kids, but being honest with mine seems to work pretty well. “Why do I have to put away the dishes?” “Because if you don’t, we won’t be able to wash the dirty ones and then we’ll get roaches. Do you want roaches? No. So put away the dishes.”

        • Passerby6497@lemmy.world
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          24 days ago

          Yeah, that’s the tack I’m taking with mine. No sense in lying because it’s not good for your relationship, and I can’t be bothered to keep track of a bunch of lies.

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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            24 days ago

            I didn’t even like doing Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, but my wife insisted. I’m glad that era is over.

            • soycapitan451@lemmy.world
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              24 days ago

              Feel you. I got accused by my brother in law of being some kind of psychopath for not wanting Santa in the house.

              In their house, my sister is already using the threat of Christmas big brother against any minor hijinks that their kid gets up to.

              I have a three year old, so unfortunately, I have another 4 years of this nonsense ahead of me.

              • In their house, my sister is already using the threat of Christmas big brother against any minor hijinks that their kid gets up to.

                Oof, that seems a bit much to me. Does she tell stories about the bogeymen or Baba Yaga, too? I’d rather my child be concerned with the actual consequences for their actions rather than the imagined ones

                • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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                  24 days ago

                  There’s some research that says Santa, the Easter bunny, etc. are good for teaching kids skepticism. Plus it’s fun. I’ll often move their stuffed animals so it looks like they were doing something when the kids are asleep so they can get a little bit of magic

                  But, threatening with Santa is actually bad parenting because #1 it’s a bit traumatic of a threat but #2 they’ll figure out damn fast that you’re bluffing. Never threaten a punishment you aren’t prepared to dish out (and never dish out a punishment you wouldn’t feel comfortable explaining to the kid as an adult)

            • Amanduh
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              24 days ago

              Do you have to be in every single thread picking fights with people over the dumbest shit?

        • Kusimulkku
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          24 days ago

          But you would still be able to wash the dirty ones. This is just a lighter lie (which imo is totally fine).

            • Kusimulkku
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              24 days ago

              How about somewhere else for the moment?? LOL

                • Kusimulkku
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                  24 days ago

                  Not at all, but I’m also not stumped by having the sink full so much that I’m literally not capable of washing the dishes lmao. A kid might believe that since kids are fucking idiots but not an adult, surely

          • howrar@lemmy.ca
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            23 days ago

            It takes a lot longer to wash if you go that route. If you don’t have enough time for that, then you can’t do it without foregoing your other responsibilities. That qualifies as “can’t”. It’s a lie as much as telling elementary school kids that the sky is blue is a lie. We simplify things because kids don’t have the ability to follow all the complex interactions between everything going on in their lives.

      • Kusimulkku
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        24 days ago

        I’m not sure if the term “gaslighting” fits here. This just seems like run of the mill lying and manipulating.

        Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves. They may end up doubting their memory, their perception, and even their sanity.

        Gaslighting would seem like it’d be more that if they knew weekends were a thing befohand then you’d lie that they imagined it all (and that they might even be crazy for having thought that).

      • Steal Wool
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        24 days ago

        Lmao I like to use buzzwords too even when they don’t fit the situation.

        • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
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          23 days ago

          Omg! You are such a gaslighting narcissist! Your strawman whataboutism is triggering my OCD, PTSD, and LMNOP!

          Did I miss any classics?

      • BradleyUffner@lemmy.world
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        24 days ago

        Sure… If you want to seriously undermine any trust you’ve built up with your kid when they’re older.

        • Sorgan71@lemmy.world
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          23 days ago

          Tell kids the truth when they’re older, but you cant reason with a young kid about everything.

          • BradleyUffner@lemmy.world
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            23 days ago

            That doesn’t mean you have to lie. Just tell them they have to go to school, and that’s that. Don’t make up a story to manipulate them.

      • andxz@lemmy.world
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        24 days ago

        …and then they’ll never trust you fully again. Ever.

        This is the most shortsighted shit I’ve seen in a long time.

      • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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        24 days ago

        Young kids are extremely receptive to self-fullfilling prophecies, and very flexible. If they hate school, it’s better to find out why and try to see if you can get them to like school. You can kinda trick them by trying to associate school with fun, talk about how much you enjoyed school as a kid, and try to get them to talk about things they did that they liked at school. Or the flip side is maybe you’ll learn that there’s something serious you need to help handle as a parent

      • sparkle
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        23 days ago

        Falsely threatening your toddler with taking away their weekends is a “white lie”? Why parent using fear and deception? Why not actually working on helping them manage their own feelings/emotions/needs without punishment looming over them?

        All this kind of stuff does is teach them that they shouldn’t do “bad” stuff when they’re likely to lose something from doing so… which usually becomes “I can do ‘bad’ stuff as long as I’m unlikely to face punishment for it or as long as the reward outweighs the punishment”.

        Telling these lies to your kids and other forms of manipulation also usually makes them more distrustful of you and less likely to be open to you when they start to become more socially/emotionally intelligent.

        Lying and punishment (or threatening punishment) are both generally counterproductive/destructive when it comes to human parenting and encourage developing troublesome behaviour patterns. It’s usually lazy or poor parenting (something that even good parents are susceptible to doing, being imperfect and all), and unfortunately most parents use it as their primary method of dealing with behaviour they don’t want. Especially with neurodivergent children, who are affected significantly worse by this form of parenting.

        Something relevant is that rewards are significantly more complicated and require a lot more consideration on how they may affect the child’s performance based on motivation – too much, too regular, or incorrectly placed extrinsic motivation can have a negative effect on performance when there otherwise would have been enough intrinsic motivation, and you don’t want a child to end up expecting an extrinsic reward or relying on extrinsic rewards for motivation. In that case, the lack of a reward may then start to discourage good behaviour (or discourage limiting destructive behaviour). You also don’t want the child to tie their personal self-worth to the thing you’re rewarding, then they have feelings of shame when they can’t meet those expectations, and they become paranoid about meeting them. This is a problem commonly caused by evaluative praise/non-descriptive praise which focuses on outcome rather than the process and assigns a “good” or “bad” label to the result of actions, as opposed to descriptive praise which is neutral and encourages constructive self-reflection.

        Two good books addressing issues with deceptive & manipulative parenting and the methods which are beneficial in the long-term are Unconditional Parenting and Punished By Rewards (Alfie Kohn)

        In many situations where a child’s having an outburst that’s negatively affecting others in an attempt to gain something (like attention), it may be better to have them take a break (as in temporarily separate them from the people they’re bothering) in a non-punishing way (so not a “time-out” or total isolation/deprivation of stimulation) while staying calm and not speaking/behaving harshly, not lie to them that they’ll incur a loss. You may even be able to have a conversation with them afterwards about their emotions and why they feel their actions would get them what they wanted or needed, but sometimes too much conversation can actually have the effect of a reward if your child was seeking attention by doing the negative behaviour, so it can sometimes be more productive to keep your message short and simple – calmly/non-aggressively conveying that this behaviour won’t get them what they need. Actively managing attention and making sure it’s not used as a reward nor as a punishment can be very hard, you can give or divest attention without even realizing it, but it pays off a lot in the long-term. Kids aren’t adult-levels of emotionally mature and have very little impulse control, but they’re not irrational or (emotionally) unintelligent either, despite that being the common belief.

        Really a lot of these problems with addressing unwanted behaviour stem from the lack of widespread & accessible science-based parental education. For a lot of parents, the only guides they’re receptive to are (usually religious fundamentalist and/or for-profit) garbage mommyblogs and Facebook parenting groups, plus whatever their family or friends tells them is right. Most parents are basically winging it with little to no training or education, which is a recipe for a bunch of fucked up and traumatized future adults. It’s hard to understand the long-term consequences of your actions if you were never taught about them in the first place, and especially so when contradictory ideas like “punishment/reward is the right way to parent” and “kids are our property and less human than us” is so deeply ingrained in our culture.

        • redisdead@lemmy.world
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          23 days ago

          Santa isn’t real and neither is the Easter bunny, and yet you survived this ultimate deception.

          Do like every other 4 years old: grow up.

  • thezeesystem@lemmy.world
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    24 days ago

    How to be a shitty parent 101 and Wonder why your kid completely cuts you out of there life ASAP.

      • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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        24 days ago

        Lying to coerce a child into doing something they hate could be fine. But it also could be catastrophic. The proper* parenting move is obviously to figure out why the child doesn’t like going to school, and address that.

          • fine_sandy_bottom@discuss.tchncs.de
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            23 days ago

            I’m a new parent. When the time comes I’m going to do my best to help them figure out how to enjoy school. I’m sure you will / would too when it comes came down to it.

          • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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            23 days ago

            You can either accept that as an inevitability, or try and figure out ways for your child to actually enjoy school. The latter makes you a better parent.

      • Anyolduser@lemmynsfw.com
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        24 days ago

        Because they were lied to unnecessarily.

        The parent is trading long term trust and respect in their relationship for short term compliance. That should only be done in emergencies.

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today
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      24 days ago

      Ten years later:

      “My teenager has massive trust issues and won’t believe anything I say.”

      surprised Pikachu face

  • douglasg14b@lemmy.world
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    24 days ago

    Oof, this is definitely a:

    Every lie incurs a debt to the truth

    Sort of thing. It’s not going to be fun when your child understands that there is no school on weekends, you’ll lose a lot of trust overnight with this.

    • Venia Silente
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      23 days ago

      when your child understands that there is no school on weekends

      “I did not lie to you, we just all as parents agreeded to make the same offering to our children”.

      (it’s not even half lying; setting agreements as adults is what bulding a society is about)

      • Willer@lemmy.world
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        23 days ago

        Its lying. I mean i dont judge. If you want to teach your kid how to lie your way out of developing any spine, i dont wanna stop you. Not telling the whole truth can even be interpreted as lying.

      • Doxatek@mander.xyz
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        23 days ago

        A lot of my coworkers actually do take their kids to a separate school on weekends. One of my coworkers said his parents did this to him and he hated it lol but he is really smart now though so 乁⁠(⁠ ⁠•⁠_⁠•⁠ ⁠)⁠ㄏ

    • redisdead@lemmy.world
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      23 days ago

      Good, kids need to stop believing every bullshit they hear. Critical thinking is in short supply these days.

        • redisdead@lemmy.world
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          23 days ago

          The kid will survive. Stop being so irrational about a thing the kid won’t even remember 2 years later.

          Santa isn’t real, vast majority of kids have survived this misinformation.

      • Willer@lemmy.world
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        23 days ago

        It will be pretty obvious that you did this out of self interest. If you wanna teach your kid to lie themselves out of putting any effort, this is the way to do it. Its the only conclusion for your child that critical thinking will bring. No one will trust your kid to do any work, this means it will have to fend for itself. There will definitely corrective info from classmates, teachers, but by that time the damage is already done, and the only lesson that remains will be that your dad/mom is a terrible human beeing.

        • redisdead@lemmy.world
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          23 days ago

          We’re talking about a 4 years old.

          Stop projecting your unmedicated paranoia to 4 years old

          What will happen is that they’ll figure it out, be mad for about 5 hours, and then have Dino nuggies for dinner and won’t remember any of it.

          Kids are dumb.

          • Willer@lemmy.world
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            23 days ago

            well if you dont even manage to keep this stunt covered for a year then maybe you are just stupid for trying in the first place.

            • redisdead@lemmy.world
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              23 days ago

              Mate it’s a small white lie to a 4 year old kid. It doesn’t matter if it’s uncovered in a year or less. Stop being so fucking dramatic and take your meds.

              • Willer@lemmy.world
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                23 days ago

                no thats the point. I genuinely think you might be unlucky enough that this lie stays with the kid for too long. might even reject other classmates attempts at clearing it out because your kid trusts you. Also critical thinking involves dividing facts from fiction, and you dont teach this by telling fiction. If thats a white lie i dont wanna see your actual lies.

                • redisdead@lemmy.world
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                  23 days ago

                  My nephew asked me why all the old pictures in his great grandmother’s photo book were in black and white.

                  I told him that because back then they hadn’t invented colors yet, and that they had to invent green yellow and red because nobody could figure out the traffic lights.

                  He bought it, moved on. Later he learned the truth. He also learned to not believe everything an adult says. I can’t fool him with stuff like that nowadays.

      • MadBob@feddit.nl
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        23 days ago

        Haha, it’s also something you have to learn, to be fair. You can’t just throw them to the logic wolves like a logic Spartan.

    • TheFriar
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      24 days ago

      Not to mention, I mean…other kids talk about how they don’t go to school on those days? Now, yes, I am a super sleuth and a genius, but I’m starting to get the inkling that there’s some fishy, dubious lies going on here.

      • Frank Ring@lemmy.world
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        24 days ago

        When younger, my parents made me believe in Santa Claus. Most other kids were believing in it too, and I was getting more Christmas present. So it was cool and fair, even if not true.

        But here, the person is lying to his kid to get away with something. Not cool.

        • TheFriar
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          24 days ago

          But no one else is lying to their kids about this. So the game would be up pretty quick when any other kid in school talks about the weekend. Which…they all will.

      • Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz
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        24 days ago

        What age are kids in ‘pre-k’? I’m imagining like 3-4 years old? I wouldn’t be surprised at that working with some kids that age. Not saying I think the story is true necessarily, but just that young kids are very trusting, don’t always put together information they get in different settings, and don’t really discuss weekend plans with each other much.

  • FIST_FILLET@lemmy.ml
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    25 days ago

    doing this is going to make your children hate you when they grow up, have fun with that. you deserve it for being a shit parent

    • theareciboincident@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      25 days ago

      I genuinely think shit like this is what promotes antisocial behavior in children. As in clinically antisocial, not just a synonym for introverted.

      Children learn hundreds of new words and new things every week. That’s their entire purpose in life at that age.

      Deliberately lying to them about how basic reality works for extended periods of time is likely what causes the neural short circuits of religion and conservatism.

      • MotoAsh@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        Naw, religion and conservatism are just the easy answers people arrive at when they fail to resolve all of the dissonance on their own with a child’s brain.

        The reason people hold those views in to adulthood is quite simply because they are still mentally children. They are underdeveloped losers that society has not yet decided are a problem quite literally on the same level as other developmental issues.

    • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      Yeah. I honestly think it’s also a fuckup to treat children totally differently from adults. Probably around age 7 they start noticing it and a lot of people resent that treatment.

        • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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          24 days ago

          Yes, you’re the one who needed this comment. Your kids know you’re condescending to them and it’s only a matter of time before they act out because of the damage this is doing to them

        • Demdaru@lemmy.world
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          24 days ago

          So, what’s the difference? Adults spend 8 hours someplace they don’t want to be for the betterment of their future, meanwhile kids spend 8 hours someplace they don’t want to be for the betterment of the future…

          Both eat, drink, sleep, feel, have relationships and responsibilities.

          The main difference is one cannot call your bullshit till it grows older and trust me, if you lie, bend the truth and basically abuse your kid, it will bring consequences.

          For me it’s absolute lack of faith into anything anyone says, no matter how close to me they are. For some it’s closing their minds and ignoring the problem. For others, it may lead to fighting against liars - their parents.

          So yeah, please commit to keeping that opinion buried somewhere where it cannot create pain for others.

  • Lad@reddthat.com
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    24 days ago

    I think this is another case of a joke that people have taken seriously. There’s no chance this would work in reality. It just makes for a funny hypothetical.

    • Willer@lemmy.world
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      23 days ago

      Idk how to tell you but there are people in here that think this is a good idea. If it is all sarcasm then thank god, but i doubt it is, since they are arguing it.

  • bitwaba@lemmy.world
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    23 days ago

    I guess for some people the dumber you are the more impressed you are with your own ability to fool a child. Probably because that’s the last stage of their child’s life where they can still pretend to be smarter…

    • THCDenton@lemmy.world
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      23 days ago

      Yup. Education is not their goal. It’s crime prevention.

      You can get your ass beat in school the other guy gets detention. Its a prison.

      • shneancy@lemmy.world
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        23 days ago

        Education is crime prevention. What a lot of schools are doing is teaching you how to be a good obedient slave that runs to class at the sound of a bell, never questions the teacher, & is silent and diligent in their work

      • EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de
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        22 days ago

        Yup. Education is not their goal. It’s crime prevention.

        Look up the “school to prison pipeline” anyone who doesn’t blindly follow the program is sent to a shitty school and then if they ask questions about the rules then everything they say is a “threat”

      • ulterno@lemmy.kde.social
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        23 days ago

        You can get your ass beat in school the other guy gets detention.

        The other guy goes home happy.
        If you fight back, you get beaten by teachers, then your parents get called and harassed and then you are made to understand that you need to shut up and get beaten whenever someone feels like it.

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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    24 days ago

    I can’t imagine there’s never a scenario where the teacher says “See you Monday,” on a Friday. I think this is fiction.