• Krauerking@lemy.lol
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      5 months ago

      I once got caught up in a game of dodge the cactus that I mistakenly thought was “catch” the cactus and proceeded to try to figure out how to get the needles out of both of my hands face and mouth.

      I decided on sprite for the ones in my mouth by gargling it.

      I once also made homemade root beer let it ferment to long so it was alcoholic and got a bunch of other kids drunk at school. This barely scratches the surface, and doesn’t include the forest fires or all the times hit by trains and boats.

      Anyways, yeah a recap of my life would be a wild watch. If you really do have your life flash before your eyes at the end I am gonna need some popcorn for this feature film.

      • JimSamtanko
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        5 months ago

        Good god man…. Songs should be written about you and performed during a presentation of a statue in your likeness.

        • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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          5 months ago

          Honestly I really should just be locked away for everyone’s, and my own, safety.

          I was one of the original patients that spread swine flu in the US in 2009 after a trip to Mexico. I now have vaccines for everything from yellow fever to typhoid cause I thought I might spread it too.

          My stories should probably be in a leather bound book of things not to do that people argue whether or not it’s allegorical when it says “do not trust the boy who brings back diseased cloth for all his friends”

          Edit: same vacation I broke 6 ribs falling off a cruiseship and had to be rescued by the Mexican coast guard actually.
          Train wreck.