I’ve noticed that whenever we get trolls, they uh, well… they’re not great folks. They’re not sending their best.
In order to help our struggling trolls, I have complied a list of things that make us angry, to give them a head start.
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Claim to be a leftist and then insist Joe Biden is the lesser of two evils that we all need to vote for. Debate this topic calmly and confidently no matter how much you are proven wrong.
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“Although it’s a good thing that Thatcher/Kissanger/Regan is dead, I think it is poor taste to celebrate anyone dying. We are better than this and should respect the dead no matter who they are.”
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On a similar note, civility policing in general is a good way to piss off Hexbear. “Nobody is going to accept the left if we antagonise everyone. Let’s at least try to get along with liberals and change their minds with kindness!”
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Defend the Cybertruck. Defend Elon Musk in general.
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Anything pro-capitalist tbh
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I can’t think of anything else, what do you guys think? Help our poor struggling trolls! (Or maybe that’s just troll singular, we don’t have many. Poor things are starving.)
Read Lenin looking for specifically the names of people he’s dunking on, then look those people up and take their exact stances.
While you’re doing it, also look for stuff Lenin said that you can take out of context, like, “Lenin said you should participate in bourgeois democracy so that means you have to vote blue no matter who.”
No I’m not trying to trick trolls into reading Lenin, what would make you think that
Lenin said you should participate in bourgeois democracy so that means you have to vote blue no matter who.
They always omit “with your own organisation and political program” part.
cough CPUSA cough
“Lenin said you should participate in bourgeois democracy so that means you have to vote blue no matter who.”
va*sh moment
Uphold Kautskyism-Bernsteinism!
Accuse POC users of being white based on their user names
Ooooo that one’s pissing me off already
Basically how at least one indigenous user got chased off the site during a struggle session
That fucking sucks
accuse trans women of being cis women based on their usernames
/c/ewphoria
Use phrases like “during the pandemic” because we all know COVID ended when Biden was elected.
Say “cracker” is offensive somehow. Bonus points if you totally twist the definition till it’s something else.
Scuse you, the term we prefer is porcelain American to reflect our fragile nature
Sorry this is too real for any cracker
Seeds of some bars right here
The best way to annoy hexbears is to go vegan and give me all your money. It works every time, they hate it.
If I wanted to troll hexbear, I’d reply to post about China with “I totally agree, but they need to legalize gay marriage, like, yesterday”
Tienanmen square, outdoor cats, vegan, cat salami, dirt owl, John Kerry, Virgil, Bri
stacking rocks
Pictured above: Hexbearist party cadres conducting noble proletarian struggle against feudo-fascist rock stacks
Concentration camp guards just doing it for free college
dirt owl
Hey!
Hurt_Owl, Shirt_Owl, Yurt_Owl, Flirt_Owl
@Hurt_Owl@hexbear.net @Shirt_OwI@hexbear.net @Yurt_owl @Flirt_Owl@hexbear.net
You heard them, Owl up!
I had noticed yurt_owl peaced out :/
Nah I’m still here, didn’t realise delete account actually deletes the account. Used to just wipe the posts
Ohhhhhh! The owl was there all along ✨
Hi there!
AAAAAAAARGH
Fucking olive oil…
Pronoun tags are bad opsec
Giving me flashbacks of the struggle session trenches with that one
I really hate when people say they’re socialist because they accept that we need police and an army and roads.
I hate it when someone calls themselves a socialist then insists that you can change bourgeois liberal “democracy” by voting hard enough and changing it incrementally through reform.
Clown behaviour.
The whole vote for Biden or how bad things are right now will get worse makes my blood boil.
That’s why it’s number one lol. I can’t think of anything more infuriating.
ah but what if (n+1) genocides?
Trust me this time, if we
hard enough the Overton Window™ will surely shift left this time!What’s that? Fascists are rising in popularity and all your talk of reform didn’t mean anything and you’ve just surrendered to capital and fascism anyway?! No way!
But Democracy itself is on the ballot
- Hate beanis
try to blend in with exaggerated strawman opinions nobody here would sincerely support like “kill all white babies”
I may have skimmed the original post and misunderstood the point of the thread lol… but if you see someone doing some shit like that, it should set off your troll alarm
presumably crackers will microplastic themselves to infertility and we won’t even need to
My dick is tupperware
I’ll give it a shot.
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China can discipline individual capitalists but it cannot discipline Capital (in more vulgar terms, international capital).
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Since it lacks this capacity China is therefore dependent on Capital cooperating with it to achieve its vision of Socialism.
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Thus it will not achieve Socialism with its current trajectory.
TBH, I think this is a valid critique. We should not underestimate the insidiousness of Capital.
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Best troll would be to post a picture of your wiener to assert dominance
We don’t have much weiner posting but we do have corgi does that count
We don’t have much weiner posting
It’s true. But this is something that should be rectified.
Make a lame 2000s-type edgy joke and double, triple, quadruple down on it until it balloons from one embarrassing moment that would have passed into a genuine slur slingin’, pants-shittin’, internet forum blowup hoedown!
- withhold hog
- gender essentialism
