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For the love of God can’t we just make sex work legal, take the shame out of it, and STOP associating it with massage? PLEASE?!?
I’ve been a massage therapist for almost 20 years now and have got the point where the sex jokes hit with about the same impact as asking the cashier if something is free if the item doesn’t scan at the register. I work in hospice, and not 3 weeks ago I had a patient’s brother in law giggle and ask me if I gave his sister in law a happy ending. My inside voice said “no, sorry, she’s still breathing so she has to keep dealing with you” while my outside voice pretended not to hear the comment.
“Happy Endings” ironically being a great name for a hospice.
Oof
Ho spice is exactly what we’re trying to normalize!!
Hill, in his tribute, recalled one funny interaction that occurred when Sean Lock called him from a hospice.
“I asked him what it was like, and he said: ‘It’s OK actually and the sex is amazing,’” Hill wrote.
There used to be a “traditional” massage salon in my neighbourhood which looked extremely legit, medical, and had zero hints that “happy endings” were on the menu. For years I was convinced that it really was one of those shops where they do not offer the sleazy stuff. People I know went there to get massages, men and women. I never went because I’m convinced massages are snake oil and a waste of money.
Then one day they were raided and closed down by the local authorities. Turned out despite the upstanding image, they did offer the happy ending version, you just had to know the “unofficial” phone number and codeword.
So that didn’t exactly help to solidify my trust that there are massage businesses that are truly not offering any kind of sex work ever.
Not judging it, but the image they have is earned to say the least.
Therein lies part of the problem. A large number of those places that disguise themselves as legitimate clinics are actually covers for human trafficking.
Depending on where you are, becoming a massage therapist can take a couple years and cost thousands of dollars, require exams, and licensing. Legitimate massage therapists aren’t going to risk throwing everything away for a couple extra bucks for a handy. If sex work was legal, people wouldn’t have to masquerade as much behind legitimate business.
As for massage being snake oil, I guess it depends on what the person is claiming it’s going to do. Like I said, I’ve been doing this almost 20 years now, and have worked in health clubs (mostly doing sports/injury recovery/rehab stuff), education (teaching massage, anatomy, physiology, pathology), and now working hospice the last several years. Massage can be great for pain relief, relaxation, and general comfort. For some people with circulatory issues like lymphedema, massage can help reduce the fluid settling in their extremities. Unfortunately historically there’s a lot of questionable and downright bullshit practices that have been attached to massage, but massage on it’s own? If you like to be touched, it can be a good thing.
people wouldn’t have to masquerade as much behind legitimate business.
Yes, that’s the point - they’d BE a legitimate business anyway. Sadly, the concept of it being not so, is so ingrained in Western (American and British, at least) culture that even comments in support reveal an unconscious bias that’s hard to overcome.
I work in hospice, and not 3 weeks ago I had a patient’s brother in law giggle and ask me if I gave his sister in law a happy ending.
WTF is wrong with people… “Hey did you jerk off my dying SIL?”
Eww, like the cashier joke is inoffensive but the the happy ending is just eww
maybe I’m being too purist/prejudiced to feel that way?
Not that it’s that common I’m sure, but my university girlfriend’s best friend could think herself to orgasm. She inspired me to try it, and I’ve come (haha!) pretty close over the years, but never quite there. Might be because I’m a guy. It’s certainly not going to happen in my current middle-age.
Woman here. I’ve had sexy dreams that led to me waking up while having a real orgasm, though I wasn’t touching myself or anything.
Guy here, it happens in dreams too, but never that I could do that just from thinking
Yeah, what a neat trick it would be if I could bring myself to climax just from thinking. Reminds me of the headset things from
Total RecallDemolition Man.(The original, haven’t seen the remake so no idea if it’s in that one too.)Edit: wrong movie
Oh it’s a thing that can be done by some people, maybe even most, though very few can without training. The human brain is both very susceptible to inputs and the thing that controls physiological responses. I know training this is a pretty common goal among hypnosis fetishists
… … …
SSS?
I do apologize, I had a minor stroke from the cringe
oh okay, so you’re just a dick then, great.
Oh okay, you’re just a bitch then, great. 😊
Here we have proof that ten years ago Facebook was still comedy heaven.
Ken M was peak
The Man, The Myth, The Legend…Ken M.
My sister was drying out some mushrooms and it made the whole apartment smell like cum, which made me horny AF and almost bring me to orgasm just smelling it for so long.
Does that make me a… Fungi? 🤔
No, just a Fun Guy.
That was the point, friend.
Brilliant… Totally didn’t see that coming
(it’s double entendre Thursday down here in the southern hemisphere, btw)
Or, according to Dune author Frank Herbert, from watching a man climb a mountain. (See Heretics of Dune)
To be fair, not a single character in the Dune universe is a regular human. They’re the equivalent of those plum-sized GMO strawberries at the grocery store.
You just gave me a new headcanon: the entire dune universe is just tiny people. The worms are normal sized worms being ridden by very small fremen
Yes, I choose to believe she was rubbing one out with her prehensile clitoral hood.
one hell of a comment
In a 100 years it will be completely normal to have painless and routine medical transhuman enhancements. I’m getting a variable sized dick just as a courtesy enhancement!
I wouldnt be able to resist saying “go go gadget” every time i get hard for somebody if i had one of those lmfao
Her: “Well… guess that’ll do…”
I have read all the original books, and I don’t think a prehensile cliteral hood was mentioned, but I would have to read them again to be sure.
Better, stronger, and with additional erogenous zones in the largest sexual organ, the brain!
There are no GMO strawberries for sale. There are none currently approved.
Well, they all are, just through the old-school methods of domestication and selective breeding.
But that’s not what people mean when they say GMO in this context. Otherwise they would use GMO in front of every food item name unless they were referring to foraged goods with no domesticated equivalent.
Lmao those books got real weird after Children of Dune
I’m pretty sure that was in God Emperor. Heretics is the one where that same man acquires super sex powers that are so powerful he can overwhelm the sex powers of a clan of violent sex women and subjugate them to his will.
Lmao I was flabbergasted until I realized it was Ken M
Who is Ken M?
The standard by which all trolls are measured and found inadequate.
A legendary teller of truths.
He is.
According to reliable pictures I’ve seen online, a lot of women can achieve orgasm through salad alone.
“Really? Right in front of my salad?”
We are all able to achieve sexual climax on this BLESSED day!
Speak for yourself!
I am all able to achieve sexual climax on this BLESSED day!
Ken M strikes me as the type who should never be left unattended in any room that has a vacuum cleaner in it.
Ken M strikes me as the type who should never be left unattended in any room
Ken M strikes me as the type who should never be left unattended
Ken M strikes me as the type who should never be 🗡️
Ken M
K
I
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So, uh, what article is this? Asking for a friend
It might be this article.
Everyone loves a little horsey surprise
Usually just flip on some Murder She Wrote when I need to get my Dick in the mood. Been married 43 years come November.
Woah, can we get a tag for this or something!? I started to read the ribald words and almost got the vapors!
Every girl knows what KEN’s problem is…
