You need seat time. You’ll get better the more you do it, until driving is instinctual. Avoiding doing it is how you don’t learn.

I learned to drive using a manual transmission vehicle. I spent a lot of time in empty parking lots, then in empty subdivision roads. It sucked, and having my dad as a teacher made things worse (he had a bit of a temper). As you stated, learning the clutch friction point for your vehicle is crucial (and it’s different in every model of car, so that’s fun), but once you get that down, the rest falls into place pretty easily.
I have had 4 vehicles since I got my license, and only the most recent one is automatic. I much prefer driving manual, but they’re getting increasingly difficult to find outside of sports cars.

Try driving an 18-speed truck transmission without the clutch.

Who’s stupid?

When I first started driving I was terrified all the time, but over time fear disappeared. It gets easier with experience.

You get used to driving, and automatic is probably easier to learn with but afterwards it’s not an issue.

I’ve been driving for well over a decade, nearing two. I hate every minute of it. Honestly, I hate other drivers more than driving itself. Trust no one, assume everyone is out to kill you because half of them are.

I hated learning how to drive, and only really started to tolerate it once I got a new driving teacher. I actually like driving now, mostly because it’s one of the few times where I can turn my brain off while not being unfocused.

With that said…I have no idea why Americans (not assuming OP is American, but know it’s rare over there) have such an issue with manual cars. My family has both manual and automatic, and I prefer manual because it’s much easier to have control. It has never, ever been a distraction for me.

I do think it’s a bit crazy that people learn to drive manual cars on the road. It is a lot to manage when you have no experience. Learners should be given a few hours to just mess around on an airfield or car park so they can get a feel for the machine first of all.

IMO most driving sucks anus though, after a year or two and the novelty has worn off. Stressful, expensive, dangerous. I would rather take trains, get stuff delivered and have a day every year or so with a powerful car alone on a racetrack.

Manual transmissions are operated almost entirely by “feel”. Once that sinks in, it’s a lot easier.

If you can, go find a quiet street, parking lot, or any place with an incline. Practice stopping in the middle of the incline and taking off without stalling. Don’t stress out when you inevitably stall. You will and that’s ok. If you can master starting on a hill, you’ll find that the rest of it comes a lot easier.

With the transmision in 1st and your foot on the brake, release the clutch very slowly until the engine starts dragging just a little. Slowly take your foot off the brake. You’ll know the clutch is in the right spot if it keeps you from rolling backwards. At that point, start to accelerate and let the clutch out slowly. Continue to accelerate and up the hill you go.

Don’t hesitate to hit the brakes at any time if you feel like you’re going to roll backwards. Better to stall than to roll back into someone behind you. Depending on the gearing, you may be able to start in 2nd and that will keep you from having to worry about shifting in the middle of the hill.

Don’t panic. Learning is good. If someone gets upset with you because you’re inexperienced and stall out then screw them. They should try to remember what it was like to learn how to drive. It just takes practice, practice, and more practice.

I really hated learning how to drive, because I’m good at learning things in a knowledge type way, but that was little help with learning how to drive. I’m not very good at being not very good at things, which sounds like a humble brag, but it actually means I get frustrated and find it hard to stick with things I don’t immediately click with.

It took me a decent while before driving began to feel more natural, but it did get easier; one of the changes I noticed as I improved was I gradually came to treat the mirrors as an extension of my visual perception rather than things I needed to remind myself to check (this also meant I preferred reversing for tight manoeuvres, because the mirrors meant I could better gauge my “vehicular proprioception”, so to speak (how close I was to other stuff))

None of this will make your quest any easier, because the process does take time and it sucks for the majority of that. However, I hope you take some comfort in knowing that this certainly isn’t a you-problem.

It gets better as you gain experience and it becomes like a part of you. In the same way you don think about extending the arm, opening and closing the hand when picking an object, when shifting a gear is the same, you don’t perform all the steps or movements like independent tasks that need all your attention, it just becomes “shift up/down”.

In my first practice lesson I panicked with the all things to take care off, and I didn’t move more than five meters in a speed that the needle detected.

The clutch is not something that goes by precision, is about feelings, with the noise from the motor, the clutch pedal vibrations, the response from the vehicle… I is telling you what to do, in the end is feelings and muscle memory.

Take your time to practice and relax.

being too soft or too rough on the clutch is a matter of millimeters is ridiculous

On this point specifically, don’t think of it as millimetres of distance. You act based on how the car responds, not trying to hit a specific distance of pedal movement. You already do the same thing with your other foot - you don’t think “I need to press the accelerator down 55 mm”, you just press it a bit more or a bit less until the car is going the speed you want it to go at. Same deal with the clutch, there just isn’t a dial on the dashboard that tells you where you currently have it.

You’re right that driving involves processing a lot of information at once that nobody is particularly familiar with absorbing when they start. It is difficult and dangerous. That’s why there are tests and licences. But in much the same way that typing was once completely alien to you and is now something you do with little active thought, you’ll get there soon enough with the clutch too. And if you learn it now, you’ll never be caught out in a situation when there isn’t an automatic option available

It will get much better over time but it always kind of sucks. I highly recommend reorganizing your life to avoid driving as much as possible if you can. The less you do it, the happier you’ll be.

With enough practice, driving becomes second nature to the point that you don’t really think about it. This goes triple for manual transmission cars because you have so much control over the behaviour of the vehicle that it almost feels.like.an extension of yourself. The learning curve is a pain but the payoff is worth it.

And I hate automatic. After a few weeks or months, you won’t even realize there’s a clutch or shift. It’s actually easier, as with automatics I have to actually look at it to determine which gear I am in, eg. reverse or drive.