I’d make it so that liquid soap dispensers sounded like they were struggling to nut quietly each time you pressed down.

  • spitz@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    I quite like the (I think?) Jewish curse: “may your laundry never dry”. That would suck wearing clothes that are always slightly damp.

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        1 year ago

        I know you jest, but the more you think about it, the nastier a curse it is. For example, your crack would always be itchy. You’d never be able to put your clothes away because mold would devour them. And so on.

  • TheWeirdestCunt
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    1 year ago

    Every set of stairs has one step that is slightly taller than the rest

    • federalreverse-old@feddit.de
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      1 year ago

      Don’t bother with steps that are each different — making steps the wrong height/length is enough. If you ever walked up/down stairs that felt really weird it’s probably because the builder ignored the international standards on that topic and built steps that are a couple centimeters off.

    • BitSound@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      That was actually a thing in castle design. There’d be one step just high enough compared to the others that an assassin chasing the king would hopefully stumble on it, and the king could turn around and stab the assassin.

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      1 year ago

      I’m sure you mean all the heights are a little different, but I’m envisioning where every step has to be taller than the previous one and the shenanery that would happen to make long stair cases navigable. Start with teeny tiny steps to end with uncomfortably large ones.

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    1 year ago

    You know how you sometimes get a pebble stuck under your shoe and walking just feels weird until you remove it?

    That, but there’s no actual pebble.

  • Chef_Boyargee@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    No matter how hard one squeezes, there’s ALWAYS three or four drops of pee leftover, poised to strike after one finishes their business.

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    1 year ago

    Make it so that when you arrive home you’re never allowed to put your keys in the same place more than once.

    Forgot something in the car and have to go back out? Time to find a new spot…

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        1 year ago

        The good thing I can say is that Bob died laughing.

        The bad thing is that if he hadn’t been laughing so much he might not have been standing there laughing when the wind threw a telephone pole at him.

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    1 year ago

    You must greet everyone you meet with a handshake and ten seconds of uninterrupted eye contact. Forced smiles and a serious talk about how you really are doing are also mandatory.
    Pretty awkward if you ask me :)

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    1 year ago

    Eyelids become translucent. In other words, you can still see anything and everything when your eyes are closed.

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      1 year ago

      Id like to think it would still work both ways mechanically, but would be one sided electrically.

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        1 year ago

        Funnily enough, there are cases where that occurs. The Zed Mini is a great example, where the orientation of the cable affects it’s ability to fully utilise USB bandwidth. I don’t recall the reason off the top of my head, but I have shared stories with a number of people in the computer vision sector who have torn their hair out over those cameras only to discover that they don’t work properly when the cable is “upside down”

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    1 year ago

    Everyone is ever so slightly telepathic, functionally making a web of felt emotions with no thoughts connecting them so what you feel from this is basically a summary of the people in the area around you.

    Example: Everyone could be focused at work, nothing major going on, until someone thinks about their significant other and all of a sudden there’s a tiny bit of horny thrown in the mix, everyone knows its there, and no one knows who put it there.

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    1 year ago

    Mirror every object. You don’t realize how many things are designed with a right-handed assumption unless you aren’t right handed. Also, most people can’t read well anymore because it’s all backwards

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        1 year ago

        I used to tutor math at a company that insisted that we write upside down so the page was always facing the students. It really did only take like 3 days for it to feel natural.