At the end of his life, my grandpa subsisted on 2 pints of strawberry banana yoplait yogurt and a pack of Coors light a day. What dietary hell will you fall into?

  • PhlubbaDubba
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    6 days ago

    Zest a small bag of lemons, 4 to 5, then peel the lemons and reserve the zest with the lemon flesh.

    Get a box of strawberries and chop off the tops before cutting up and tossing in with the zest and lemon flesh.

    Get a cup of cane sugar, and pour it into the bowl before tossing the whole mess together as much as possible, then spread it into a baking pan.

    Either hit it with a kitchen torch, or slap it under the broiler for 2 minutes.

    Toss it all in the blender with 2 cups of chilled water and give it just enough pulses to get it all combined together.

    Strain it into a bowl, then strain it again back into the blender.

    Add in 1 to 3 cans of sweetened condensed milk to desired consistency, and cane sugar to taste.

    Blend it all together one more time with a handful of ice cubes and voilà.

    Swiss because the sweetened condensed milk and zest are from what’s called a Brazilian Lemonade, but what the Brazilians call a Limonada Suisse, and Lion because the Strawberries Cane Sugar and Torch come from Detroit (lions) 75 Kitchen Lemonade.