I write this with homemade maple jalapeno cornbread in my mouth, gifted to me by the bar staff at my local pub this evening. This is simultaneously the best and most unexpected thing I’ve ever brought home from a bar, my significant other excepted.
This got me thinking: what is the weirdest thing you’ve brought home from the bar, Lemmy?
the humour of the name really resonated with drunk me
Oh ho ho!
Well, are we talking stuff scored at the bar, or on the drunken stumble back?
Because I have a penchant for grabbing city property that’s been wiped out by some drunk driver already.
Bike racks. Innumerable signs and posts. A fire hydrant, a big fucking fatty, too. Car parts EVERYWHERE That yellow grippy stuff at the crosswalk. Many, many signs and posts. A whole assed traffic light (fucking finally)-not the post. Jesus, not the post. Yes, I tried. A wooden telephone pole (I had help, and we sang chanties while we did it) The lightbox with the little man and hand. It works! So does the traffic light :)
For the record, drinking and driving IS nevada’s state pasttime, and a friend of mine once scored two actual streetlights, posts and all. Bastard tried to sell them to me :/
Borat voice my wiiiiiiiife
Chlamydia!
I really don’t get how anyone can have sex at the bar, or in a random bathroom somewhere 🫥
In this case, it was a cheap blowjob bar in a shady red light district. I felt that something was wrong before I even made it back to my hotel.
American here. What is a bj bar?
Many years ago I got to the bar early, before my friends, and while waiting I applied for a job using their Wi-Fi. And I got the job. The job looked good on paper but my new boss f***** me by wage theft and pocketing pension contributions. It was fun, but it would have been more fun if I had been paid according to the law.
It’s not very strange per se, but I stole a completely regular unmarked glass, by accident, because I finished it right as the next band came on and being kinda drunk I just crammed the glass into my coat pocket so I could clap and generally be enthusiastic
Still have the glass, haha. Can’t think of anything else I’ve brought home besides maybe a napkin or flyer or something
It’s a tradition in england to steal glasses from pubs from what I heard from my friends who live there. I have 2 Guinness glasses that I stole from there, because I like their shape.
Huh, neat. Yeah, I’m American so there was no tradition or anything with my story, I was just buzzed at a show
I intentionally stole a few glasses from a bar that I used to frequent—figured it was my tip.
A man.
Cactus, cloth hanger, and a salt mill. Three different bars, same night. Another night my friend got home with a light bulb…
My ex wife.
Some guy known only as “The Brazilian”
The only thing I know about him is that he was not Brazilian.
Ha, bar! I moved across the country in such a fashion that I connect with no one and sit in my apartment alone drinking on Friday nights.
Sounds fun though!!
Boo! Go to a bar and ask someone weird questions! You might get cornbread, who knows?
Raising one to you my friend - I know how tough it is to connect with people after moving sometimes. 👊
I moved like 10 years ago, everyone was cool at first, then everyone thought I hacked them because I know about networking then I worked from home for ~5ish years and lost my patience for 99% of people. It’s all good though!
I feel like there’s WAY more of a story here - why on earth would a bunch of folks think you hacked them just because you have a commonish, if esoteric sounding, skill set? - but if you’d rather leave it there that’s cool.
I’ve been working from home for almost 5 years now, and to be honest it drives me nuts. I kinda miss people, thus the bar. Not exactly the healthiest social outlet, to be fair, but I like it more than staying home.
Moving to a high COL area without an education (it’s fine, I make a ton of money now, I’m a self-taught programmer) will get you tons of crazy stories. I guess people here get their identity stolen a lot? It’s happened so many times that I’m scared to tell people I meet that I know anything about computers.
I moved to Los Angeles. The people here move slow and are dumber than a box of rocks. Not to be a hater, maybe I’m just bitter.
COL?
I interpreted it as high Cost of Living area if it helps.
Yeah it’s cost of living
Nothing, I’ve never been in a bar in my 35 years of life.
congrats!
What?
Congrats on having never been to a bar. In my experience, they’re not healthy places. All sorts of debauchery and sadness happen at them, masked by alcohol and other drug use. They can be fun, and certainly many patrons are responsible and healthy, but that’s not always the case. That’s all.
I can answer this halfway.
One of those big glass beer boots (actually shaped like a boot).
on the walk home, I put it down to pee and then after I stumbled back home with my prize I looked confusedly at my empty arms and realized I forgot to pick the boot back up 20 minutes ago and it was still sitting on the sidewalk somewhere in lower zhangjiajie.
A friend brought home a giant, bright blue, sparkly Mary-in-a-bathtub. We googled it afterwards and found out that it was super valuable, so we brought it back, but it took three of us to get it back there and was much less fun than stealing it.
The hell is a mary-in-a-bathtub?
I brought home a spoon this week. Friend also got one. They’re really nice spoons. Trying to decide where to put it - silverware drawer seems a little dismissive of how excited we were to get them.
Frame it in a cheap glass case with a little placard that says “Break glass in case of cereal emergency”
