rOzeclawz Follow 2d ago
what the fuck makes phone apps so cocky as to send me notifications telling me to use it. my grocery list app straight up went “you havent made a list in a while!” are you out of your fucking mind. you are a program. why are you speaking to me like youre my equal. i could replace you with a pen and the back of a receipt. idiot. i kill you now
You must log in or register to comment.
similar energy:
It makes me more angry that it should that Alexa talks back to me when I ask it to do stuff.
“NOW CONNECTED TO YOUR PHONE!”
YES I FUCKING KNOW BECAUSE YOU MADE THE BEEPING NOISE YOU MAKE AND THAT’S OK BUT DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME
Your problem is having an Alexa in the first place. That’s a simple fix, though. Your local recycling center will take e-waste.
Yeah, yeah, I know. I need to sort out a different way of doing things.
The only ground i will give in this argument is when my headphones tell me the battery is low.
I don’t like those either. I like the tones the airpods use. A single beep has no intrinsic meaning. But the tone it uses for low battery is as intuitive as it can get. Also if you don’t speak English the voice is just as useless as the tone. Especially if it’s something like this.
That said my friend has a headset that announces “mic on” and “mic off” and we get far too much enjoyment out of mocking it saying my cock.
The worst are apps that send ads through notifications.
That’s an instant uninstall for me
The worst is when an otherwise great app does that! And they also send really important notifications too, so you can’t just disable notifications!
Many apps have “notification channels” (on android), to customize what notifications you get. You could choose to disable some notifications and keep others.
Are apps able to lie though? Say, by putting ads into the same channel as essential notifications?
Probably yes. But most apps probably behave well
Probably depends on the developer. Friendly independent neighborhood developer? Well behaved. Corporate app developer? Get fucked pleb.
Yes and some do it constantly. Other have say two channels and just name them like “important stuff” and “really important stuff” and just mix ads in both.
There was a time, when the Amazon App complained every time you opened it (and every few pages of browsing) that not all notifications were allowed and constantly nagged you to turn them on, if you disabled any categories in the app or notification channels.
Yeah so the feature actually sounds completely useless against a determined adver
sarytiser. At the very least, apps should have no way of knowing whether notifications are turned on, including no means of knowing whether a notification was displayed or not.App stores should also make a policy of banning apps that don’t explicitly keep all their ads in an advertising channel.
Send a bug report every single time it happens.
Issue #363 - My phone notified me about an add
Issue #366 - My phone have notified me about ads twice
Issue #372 - My phone have notified me about ads three times
That’s the good stuff.
Starbucks does it for me. The same notification channel is for orders and “announcements” which is essentially ads
I’m looking at you ESPN
You forgot the ones that decide they need to play their own sounds to accompany the notification.
It took exactly one time of the Taco Bell app making my phone do their stupid bong sound for me to swear off taco bell for life.
One more reason why i prefer Open Source. There, apps get made for utility, not for money.
And popularized by utility, not profit or market share
Or ad campaigns! Don’t forget terrible products that are popularized by ads alone!
“You are right, I’m not using you. Uninstalled.”
Any app that does shit like that immediately loses notification privileges. At the very least. If it’s something that I don’t need (thanks for reminding me, app), then I will just remove it.
I wish there was a more punitive option. Like, yeah, I disallowed notifications, but I also had a leaky gallon of liquid shit delivered to the CEO’s home.
This is why on newer Android versions you can just flat out reject being allowed to send notifications.
I will talk to you when I need it, not the other way around.
I had no idea people didn’t do this! First notification I get from an app that isn’t some form of messaging, straight to settings and turn off notifications.
People are getting notifications from news apps. Apart from actual World War Fuckin Three, what possible news story could be worth being disturbed by your phone for?!?
Well before the current Android version, you had to manually go into the settings of the app or your phone to disable them. Now you get this on first boot of the app:
This makes it a lot easier to reject them immediately
My phone hasn’t made a sound in years. It’s hard on silent and all notifications* go to my watch so it can tap my wrist quietly and politely. _ *I say “all”, but it’s calls, messages, and reminders. General purpose apps aren’t allowed to talk to me.
WW3 have that unblockable Presidential Alert emergency notification. There’s no escape. 😔
Unless one disabled the correct system APK through ADB of course.
This. I shut off all notifications from nearly all of my apps. Primary text app, phone app, and just a couple of others. I may temporarily allow them for a special purpose, but once that’s over they all get silenced and I get to them when I get to them. I hate badge notifications, too. So, those are off for EVERYTHING. Grad school cemented that aversion.
At that point why not just disallow it from running in the background?
Some apps still need to be able to do that to perform their function, but generally speaking yeah, you could
What sort of apps would need real-time running if not to send notifications? Like logging software?
automation apps like Tasker.
“You haven’t given us your data in a while!”
DATA me NEED DATA
It increases engagement and that’s what the developer wants, especially if there are ads or purchases in the app. So you might hate it but it works.
Is it easy to prove it works?
Damn engagers, ruining it for the rest of us.
Sometimes I put directions into Maps for a work thing and I have to be there before the location opens to the public and when I put the address in, before it will give me directions, the app says, “HEY, THE PLACE YOU’RE GOING MIGHT NOT BE OPEN, JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW, STUPID ASSHOLE.”
It makes me unreasonably(?) furious.
I get this happen to me too, but honestly it feels like a feature that helps more people than it annoys the rest. Even though I’m among those annoyed
Driving somewhere unknown, I need gas…“hey phone, take me to the nearest gas station” “okay, here’s a tiny list of gas stations to choose from, please click the one you want”
Hands free navigation at its finest.
Breh my job involves driving to addresses outside of their normal working hours to the general public . It is so f u c k i n g annoying to have to listen to day in and day out. Same with “traffic is heavier than usual”. Also every. Damn. Day at the same time of day.
App developers should learn that the “Maybe later” button makes me delete their app.
Yes or no.
The only apps that can give me notifications are my messenging app my phone app and my email app. The rest get notifications blocked on install.
the only apps that are allowed to speak to me are messengers, weather, and my bank. Nothing else has speaking privileges.
It’s the only thing worse than getting interrupted using the app asking for me to review it
Three seconds after you start it for the 1st time
I do review them when they pull that bullshit, I give them 1 star.
I mercilessly block notifications. Especially Uber
