For example:
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When you open a fresh jar of peanut butter do you only work through one side until it is completely empty then start on the other side?
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Or when you get those shallow tubs of hummus does it have to make it back home undisturbed? Then one of the baggers at the grocery store shoves it sideways into the bag completely ruining the symmetry.
My last bite should be of my favorite part of the meal. Finish my least favorite part first.
The greatest compliment I can pay a meal is that I couldn’t choose which part to make my last bite.
I do this too. It took a while for my wife to fully understand that if she wanted to try something on my plate, she better not wait til the last few bites
Yes!
I also save the last bit of candy or other snacks, sometimes for days, until I really want it (most recently, I left the last 2 pieces in a box of Buncha Crunch for over a week. Yeah, it’s weird. I know).
My partner used to finish things I’d leave, which upset me. Then he’d finish it but replace it with an unopened packet, which I appreciated but it still bugged me.
He doesn’t understand it at all, but he’s learned that saving the last bit for “the right time” is important to me. Seeing him leave my little crazy treats around for days at a time makes me feel so loved.
I used to do this but I have noticed one slight downside to this. My food goes cold by my last bite so the last bite does not have the optimal flavor.
My new thing is I try to eat my favorite part when I feel like the food is starting to go cold so I can still hit that peak.
I suppose that is one of the few upsides of being a fast eater.
I used to do this too, but then realized it was a big factor in my over eating. If there’s too much food on the plate then I don’t get to enjoy all of my favorite element unless I stuff myself.
Food should be finished at the same time. You work gradually around all of your sides and main dish so you have exactly one bite of each left, and then you finish your plate.
My SO drives me nuts because they can just eat the entirety of the main dish and then eat all of one side, and then all of another.
Eating one dish at a time ensures you’re getting the full, unadulterated experience of the dish.
But sides are made in consideration of the main course and are intended to be eaten/enjoyed together.
Why are side salads typically served before, and separate?
Because they are a separate course and not a side. They call it a side salad like Americans call the main dish an entree, we like to use words wrong.
Then the world is lawless chaos, and I can enjoy my meal one dish at a time.
Word meanings shift over 500 years, nobody is using “entree” wrong because it means different things in different cultures and has changed several times over the centuries. The way we serve and eat meals has also changed considerably.
https://languageoffood.blogspot.com/2009/08/entree.html?m=1
I like this write-up, it had plenty of historical examples.
I’ve never seen anyone else ever do this and now I don’t feel as alone.
I eat this way and people look at me like I have two heads.
I never want to eat in front of anyone who has replied to you so far. I’m a chaos eater. Nothing exists besides the current bite. I didn’t remember what the last one was and haven’t decided what the next one will be.
I’d like to introduce you to me - I eat the starch, then the veggies, then the protein. Order of preference, descending.
I eat like your SO, though I do mix it up a little sometimes, but it’s because I’m saving my favorite thing for last. I don’t want to end up with my least favorite thing at the very end.
I’ve never wished I could eat in front of another human being more than I do right now. I just really want to trigger you with this and I don’t know why.
Start with your favorite dish and when its gone move to #2.
That’s like ejaculating on someone’s face and then working your way to foreplay. If this isn’t against the Geneva convention it should be.
Always eat the pizza crust. If you don’t, I will.
People who don‘t eat the crust shouldn‘t be allowed to eat pizza. Don‘t like the crust? Don‘t eat pizza. Aren‘t hungry enough? Eat it with the crust and pack the rest.
I used to skip the pizza crust until I had a good pizza where the crust was just as good as the toppings.
That’s why I think people who don’t eat the crust haven’t had good pizza.
There is a huge difference in Italian pizza and whatever passes for pizza in some other countries. Anyone who doubts this needs to try an Italian / Sicilian pizza, it’s amazing.
The bread is much tastier, the ingredients pop in flavour and there is very little greasyness on the plate after eating it.
Also authentic Napelese (sp?) pizza doesn’t taste like you are eating an entire loaf of bread with tomato sauce on top. And none of that gooey cheese dripping grease all over.
I thought we left the insufferable Internet Italians back on reddit.
Depends if the crust is good or not. Sometimes it’s just not worth it. There are some pizzas where the actual pizza is amazing and the crust is just boring as hell. Perplexing but I’m not going to force myself to eat something bland just because lol.
I give it to the dogs. They enjoy it.
It’s okay, officer. I’m saving it for later.
Username checks out
Food cannot touch on the plate. Each item must have a clearly defined DMZ between it and its neighbors.
Flavour L
I was this way as a kid. I’m not sure when I stopped caring.
Carry on with your DMZ, soldier.
Same. When I was young, I would RAGE if a pea so much as whispered to the mashed potatoes next to it. Now I reflect that I have bigger problems than this and don’t stress about it. Medication also helps. Somewhat.
Man, I’m the complete opposite. I tend to mix everything. As a kid I would even shape some dishes into a smooth rectangle after first crushing the potatoes and mixing it with the rest.
A friend’s dad feels so strongly about this that he has cafeteria style trays so each food item can have its own little area walled off from everything else.
A bite is not good unless it has a little of each thing on my plate. The flavors must all be in every bite.
I respect your opinion, but I am completely the other way.
A meal wants to be a journey through your flavors.
Each getting a small time to shine, before coming together in the end for that one last perfect bite.You know what’s beautiful? I say one thing and do the other. I am a total hypocrite. (At home, I will literally put all of the entree I spend HOURS in the kitchen into a bowl, mix it up, and eat it in front of the TV like a toddler. )
I don’t want salad in my steak bite, but stir fry clearly shows mixing food is good.
You ever just take an entire plate’s worth of food and put it in the blender to see if there’s another level to this?
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Any time I buy chips and dip I have to always work from the top of the dip down, trying to keep it level all the way down. I have no idea why I do this, but it drives me crazy otherwise. If someone else takes a chip and digs straight down to the bottom of the tub I just don’t want it anymore lol
I am imagining the horrified look of the other people waiting to get some layered bean dip watch you take the top layer.
Well, a big shared dish of homemade dip is much different! I would never take the whole top layer off of a seven layer dip! My hangup is specifically about dips served straight out of the little tub from the grocery store lol
I do this with ice cream
I do exactly the opposite, at least for shallow containers: I start at a side and go across, leaving the remainder untouched
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That sounds tough to deal with.
Holy shit, this would kill me. I’m a mess when it comes to food. One day almost nothing, the other day storm of sugars, next one mostly vegetables, etc. I’ve never counted any calories and it honestly scares me, because I know I’d be fucked.
Measuring in grams to the tenth won’t get you kcals to the hundredth. More importantly, kcals per gram isn’t even close to that precision in labeling. I hear you though. I measure to the tenth but I recognize the precision for what it is and move on. I realize you’re dealing with tough struggles though. Sorry about that. I’m just talking precision.
What did you learn (in ED treatment)?
Absolutely no digging in to the tub of butter, and no other food bits (usually bread crumbs) must be left inside.
If dug in to, it must be smoothed out before putting back in to the fridge. As for the crumbs, take them out and put them back on to the bread they came from. Now the butter can be put back in to the fridge.
Yes, may I sign up to be a butter acolyte?
Absolutely. Butter acolytes unite!
We get cream cheese by the 40 ounce tub because it’s insanely cheaper and we cook with it relatively often.
My dad puts crumbs in it all the time.
How hard is it not to do that?
I’m not sure. My partner isn’t as pedantic as I am, so I end up scooping his day old crumbs on to my toast the next day.
I love that you buy in bulk because you’re right - it definitely is cheaper buying more if you can eat it all before it spoils. What kind of foods do you make with cream cheese? Genuinely curious. I love cream cheese but I can’t finish it fast enough.
My rule is that if you intend to touch the butter/spread/sticky stuff with a utensil, that utensil cannot touch the bread. You just drop the portion on the bread from a height until you think there’s enough to cover it, and then you can spread it with that utensil, but if you need to revisit the jar, you need another fresh utensil.
You can’t get crumbs in there if there’s no cross contamination from the equipment to begin with!
You get better at estimating over time, but having one extra piece of cutlery to wash occasionally is less infuriating than unexpected stale crumbs and food that spoils more quickly from the contaminating yeasts and other organisms.
How good pickles are is inversely proportional to how whole they are.
- Whole pickles: blegh
- Pickle wedges: no thanks
- Pickle strips: on a sandwich, sure
- Pickle chips: yum, on a sandwich or alone
- Diced pickles: oh yeah, please
- Pickle relish: hell yeah!
Now all that’s left is to try a pickle smoothie to confirm your theory.
We’ve got to go all the way, time to vaporize pickles and inhale them
What you vaping bru?
Pickle juice, homie.
Dehydrater - mortar and pestle - rip a big line of pickle
“Mooooommmm, Dad’s nose is bleeding again!” “What did he do this time?” “Remember when he snorted a line of 21 Seasonings spices on a dare? Well…”
I know how to do this.
take relish (sweet or dill) and blend smooth. add pickle juice until runny. blend again. put about a 1/4 cup into an empty Soda Stream and pump it up like triple the normal amount. quickly cap and shake the hell out of it. uncap and suck the vapor out with a straw.
-I am a stranger from the internet and would never do this myself
You haven’t had pickles until you’ve freebased them
Pickle beer is a thing.
Thats gotta be amazing
It’s really good for one or two then it gets to be like drinking out of a pickle jar.
I wonder what pickel vodka tastes
Pickle backs are a thing. It’s just chasing a shot with a shot of pickle juice. First saw it with Jameson, but I think people do it with a lot of things these days
I have this but in reverse (and less extreme). I can eat a good pickle relish, but it doesn’t do much for me. Then, the delish goes up as we approach the whole pickle. The whole pickle is sour and crunchy. Perfection!
Haha, we must be arch nemeses.
Is relish basiclaly like the pickel equivalent to salsa?
Pickled veggies, bleh. Pickled fruit, fuck yes.
There is just something about that sweet and sour flavor that hits right. Pickled pears, apricots, and plums are my favorites.
Are you counting pickles as fruit here? Cucumbers often get thrown in either or. (Seeds inside fruit discussion)
Definitely not. Cucumbers don’t have enough sugars to reach the sweet/sour threshold that make pickling worth eating to my taste.
Corn on the cob must be eaten from left to right. You must eat all the way around the cob so that section is clean before moving on to the next section. I suppose I’d accept right to left in the same fashion; it’s the people who take totally random bites with no rhyme or reason or uniformity that make me crazy.
Ooh, I’m more typewriter with mine. Left to right in horizontal lines.
Question, do you rotate up or down? I always hate the first row because there isn’t a kernel to bite through cleanly with my eye teeth so I always rotate up.
Up or down, doesn’t matter (although I may pick one unconsciously, I’ll have to pay more attention next time), as long as you get it all before moving to the next section.
This is the way.
I thought this was universal corn law
What about row by row? Like a typewriter.
I like taking a bite anywhere on the cob, turn it randomly, bite somewhere else leaving little corn “islands” along the way. Bite, turn, bite.
Savage
Just as long as you butter your bread first then roll the cob into the bread. Mmm, best spread.
When I eat soft candies, I always have to bite them into pieces in a specific way. Like if I have a cola bottle gummy, I will bite off the “cap” first. If I have a gummy bear, I will bite the bottom legs off, separate the head from the arms and then split the legs and arms from each other. The gummy cherries, always bite the stem off first. Gummy bats, the wings separate from the body. Gummy coins I usually try to split down the circle, i.e. splitting in two thinner coins.
Most of the time it’s just inside my mouth but sometimes I hold it in my hand and bite it off like that.
Also chocolate bars has to be eaten in the squares the bar is divided into. No splitting it across squares!
Bite their legs off first so they can’t run. Smart.
I read the first few words as soft candles and was so confused.
mmm love me some wax 🙃
There is no 5 second rule. If it touches the floor it’s literally inedible.
Nice try household pest, that food is still mine
My dog doesn’t agree with you. If it touches the floor and nobody says NO fast enough, it’s his 😁
Depends on how much I like the food 😅
This is the way
Agreed unless the place is very clean and the food is solid and i really like tge food then i just eat it maybe done this one or two times in my life .
No floor is clean enough to do this.
I used to, and then I realized that “germs” exist and they’re called bacteria and viruses, so I stopped doing it. I only trust tables and surfaces because they’re (at least supposed to be) cleaned with sanitizer… Even then, it’s iffy.
Eating anything from the floor, regardless of how much or how little time it’s been there, is not something I ever want to risk. Regardless of how clean a place appears to be.
I have enough GI issues without getting some mystery stomach bug because the wing that fell on the floor for 2 seconds was really good and I didn’t want to lose it. I’d rather go hungry.
Nah i meant things like cookies when i am at my home
I still don’t do that. No 5 second rule for me. No matter how clean my own floor is, I’m still not doing it.
I don’t have a 5 second thing tho its just take it as fast as i can and have only done it one or two times but yeah i understand
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That’s fine. As long as you clean it properly before eating it.
I would also claim exception for uncooked food, specifically food that needs to be cooked before it is consumed, if it hits the floor prior to cooking, as long as it’s properly cleaned and cooked, it should be fine… I’m thinking more along the line of meats and things here. If cooking only involves a short bath in boiling water, then no… 10+ minutes in 300+ F temps, sure.
Exception to the exception: if any debris is on the food which cannot be easily removed.
I’d make exceptions for non-porous foods, I mean our produce has been in the dirt for most of their lives.
But for porous, wet, or craggy food I can’t even think about eating it without gagging.
If it’s a wet food this is definitely true. If it’s dry, like a chip, it won’t really pick up much unless the floor is visibly dirty.
Yeah, it will. It may be worse for “wet” food, but it’s still true nonetheless for “dry” food.
I will say that most people’s experience with this is fairly positive, in that, those that eat off the floor, especially those that obey the “5 second rule” don’t usually get sick from the activity. The fact remains, 5 seconds or less (or not) carries much of the same risks of getting some kind of stomach bug. They may be mitigated by contact duration, and the gut is incredibly good at eliminating bacterial and viral infiltration into the body, but it’s still very much luck.
Luck that it didn’t make contact with a bacteria or virus that will have a negative effect. Those bugs are everywhere, even on “clean” surfaces (whether visibly clean or otherwise). Unless you actively sterilize your floors continually, the microscopic organisms are there. Whether tracked in on your shoe or foot, or they’re transferred to the area by contact with something unclean or bacteria ridden…
An extreme and obvious example of this is someone dropping raw chicken on the kitchen floor and not sanitizing the area where it landed. That bacteria from the uncooked chicken is on the floor. Since it was not properly cleaned and sanitized, it’s very very likely still there. Walking through the kitchen to a living space will contact transfer the bacteria to every location where you step; and imagine you walk around the couch. Later, enjoying some chips on the couch, you drop a chip right were a foot with the bacteria landed, and that bacteria is transferred to your chip.
No 5 second rule will save you from the Salmonella poisoning from the chip on the floor.
Salmonella is not the only risk either, the chaos of tracking in bacteria from outdoors and public spaces is very very real. Going to the shop and walking through a space where someone had previously walked, who works in a place with some other nasty bug that induces GI suffering… It’s all over their shoes and now all over the floor, and now that you’ve been there, it’s all over your shoes too. You go home and like a sensible person, take your shoes off at the door, but in doing so, you walk over where you’ve stood in your shoes, so now you’ve transferred that bug from your shoes to your socks/feet, and now you’re tracking it all over the house. Same deal, now that it’s on the floor, you drop something and then within 5 seconds, pick it up to eat it and bam, vomiting, diarrhea, the works. You miss work but the boss is tired of your shit, so he fires you and now you can’t pay rent. Next thing you know you’re homeless, turning tricks under the king st bridge to pay for your heroin addiction.
so very much this, people have zero clue how much contamination happens just from the instant of contact or how quickly bacteria reproduce.
They’re worse than rabbits.
I briefly microwave my ice cream before eating.
I don’t want it to be soupy. I’m going for soft. And I am too impatient to let it sit on the counter a bit to reach that sweet spot of consistency.
I some times add heavy or whippimg cream to it
I used to do that! Never encountered someone else who did.
I do this too. I use defrost. Want a great treat? Get some vanilla and frozen OJ. They are awesome together.
Can I get a further explanation of what you are making? Sounds like a cremesicle ordeal.
Pretty much. Just take some vanilla ice cream and mix in some frozen OJ. Swirls or even chunks.
Sandwiches are eaten like a typewriter. It drives my partner bonkers, she says I’m nuts…jokes on her, she’s still hanging around 😂
Sandwiches are eaten like a typewriter.
I’m so confused. You pivot your elbows and smash the sandwich into your face like the letters hitting the page? You take lots of fast, noisy bites like the sound of typing? You nibble the top piece of bread from left to right, then the filling from left to right, then the bottom, going ‘ding!’ in between?
Exactly!
I mean…yeah? I also take my hand and swipe across my face, flinging the sandwich across the table and into the lap of whoever is sitting to my left but that is a “their problem” and not a “me problem”. To move the carriage to the next line.
It’s not a rule but sometimes I eat sandwiches around the perimeter first, to eat the crust first and then I eat the center.
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