• Canopyflyer@lemmy.world
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    15 days ago

    Wisconsinite here where the badger is native and the mascot for the University of Wisconsin is the Badger.

    This meme is inaccurate.

    The American Badger will also remove your kidneys and sell them on the black market as well, to support their meth habit.

    • BakerBagel@midwest.social
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      15 days ago

      The badger moniker comes from lead miners that initially settled the Wisconsin territory. They often didn’t even bother building homes at first and just lived in their wildcat lead mines, like a badger.

    • Cenzorrll@lemmy.world
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      15 days ago

      I’m in new mexico and saw a badger crossing the road while I was driving to work. It stopped in the middle of the road, turned towards me and waited, like it was deciding whether or not to fuck up the large metal thing coming towards it. Then slowly turned and continued on it’s way when it decided I wasn’t worth it. No fear whatsoever.

      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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        14 days ago

        I had a huge buck do that to me once. It was like 3am and the thing just casually walked out into the road in front of my truck and looked at me like “…what?”

        • unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz
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          14 days ago

          yeah 3 am riding my little motorcycle through an appalachian holler so slowly because the mist was overwhelming and blinding and suddenly i was surrounded by a couple deer and a giant buck… i was like i don’t know if they can accelerate faster than me but i’ll try. i made it out, but if i hadn’t been so slow, i would have crashed into a deer or crashed from swerving

  • witty_username@feddit.nl
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    15 days ago

    But the American badger turns out to just want to drink a beer and talk about sports whereas the European badger, after having sat you down for some tea and buttered crumpets, reveals itself to be a racist eugenicist

    • Fonzie!@ttrpg.network
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      15 days ago

      TBH, “reveals itself by shivving you anyway” is probably closer to the truth with Brittons and their tea.

    • Etterra@lemmy.world
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      15 days ago

      No dude, you’re thinking of the other kind of British. I’m pretty sure their badgers are related to the homosapiens poulus aggressor, more commonly known as “football hooligans” to the locals.

  • Zoboomafoo@slrpnk.net
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    15 days ago

    90% of the time Euro badgers do that

    10% of the time they scream “Eulalia!” and tear you limb from limb

  • CptOblivius@lemmy.world
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    15 days ago

    Brother in law had a huge wolf dog. The kind that can put it’s paws on your shoulders and look at you face to face. Massive. He got in a tussel with a badger and got tore up, took two weeks to heal. Then took off and came back with a 40 lbs badger in his mouth. Overall a 40 lbs meth badger = 150 lbs wolf dog.

  • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
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    15 days ago

    Australian badgers are half this size, have no teeth at all, but can project venom 50ft from a gland in their nostril. The venom is completely harmless to humans, however it soaks into the skin and causes a pheromone to be emitted from the lungs such that when you are asleep, it attracts 14 different species of deadly venomous spiders that are attracted to your airway from up to a 4km radius.

    • skulblaka@sh.itjust.works
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      15 days ago

      Having met dachshunds, and having met American badgers, I’m going to put my bet on “poorly”

      A couple hundred years of bred instincts aren’t going to save the walking hotdog from the meth bear

    • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
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      15 days ago

      I have three dachshunds. Two minis, Mary & Maizie, and a full size, Monty.

      Mary we often call a little wolverine, because she can be vicious when she plays, making the most horrific noises you’ve ever heard out of any creature, much less someone that looks so absolutely disgustingly cute and adorable.

      Her sister, Maizie, is the sweetest, kindest, shyest and nicest creature. Unless she sees a rat. Then it’s terrifying. She makes no sound as she runs at full speed, and snaps it up and shakes at the speed of sound. I don’t think her feet even touch the ground.

      Monty is the biggest baby, he just wants to sleep and cuddle, even when he was a puppy. Unless you touch his mama. I am not allowed to hug my own mother, because he stands there and barks and howls and shoves his body between whoever’s touching her and her. Lol.

      If anything of them could take a badger it would Maizie, but I don’t think even she could.

      Also, this was originally supposed to be much shorter and more on topic, but then I had a chance to describe my dogs, and, y’know, muh babies!

      • Maggoty@lemmy.world
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        15 days ago

        Our dog is the most kind lovable 70 pound Belgian Shepard you’ll ever meet.

        On leash if she sees a coyote, bobcat, or mountain lion she turns into a Hollywood snarl machine. That super deep rumble.

        One day a cat chased our cat back to the door. I opened it to get him inside but I unwittingly unleashed a silent tan streak. The only reason the other cat survived was it jumped off the porch and went straight up a tree. Our cat came out to gloat and our dog did the tippy taps right there under the tree.

        I have the most lovable furry criminal gang.

      • XTL@sopuli.xyz
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        15 days ago

        The Finnish name for dachshund is literally badgerdog (mäyräkoira) btw.

        Edit: til that’s also the German name. Others?

        • wieson@feddit.org
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          15 days ago

          Well, Dachshund is literally German for badger dog. (Dachs = badger, Hund = dog)

    • dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net
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      15 days ago

      I remember learning that after my dad told me stories about badgers near the Minnesota farm where he grew up killing dogs significantly larger than dachshunds and thinking “how the fuck does that work??”

  • abbadon420
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    15 days ago

    That’s exactly what badgers do in the stories of Beatrix Potter