After Donald Trump told journalists on Wednesday that his presidential opponent Kamala Harris “turned Black” for political gain, Trump’s comments have impacted the way many multirace voters are thinking about the two candidates.

“She was only promoting Indian heritage,” the former president said during an interview at the National Association of Black Journalists convention last week. “I didn’t know she was Black until a number of years ago, when she happened to turn Black, and now she wants to be known as Black.”

“Is she Indian or is she Black?” he asked.

She’s both.

Harris, whose mother was Indian and her father is Jamaican, would make history if she is elected president. She would be both the first female president and the first Asian American president.

Multiracial American voters say they have heard similar derogatory remarks about their identities their whole lives. Some identify with Harris’ politics more than others but, overall, they told NBC News that Trump’s comments will not go unnoticed.

  • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    247
    ·
    edit-2
    3 months ago

    Multiracial American voters say they have heard similar derogatory remarks about their identities their whole lives.

    half asian here. from childhood onward, i get asked “where are you from,” and by the look on their face they’re not satisfied with “tennessee” because obviously you can’t be from anywhere in the states if you’re less than 100% white. so anytime someone says “where are you from” what i hear is “what chingchong chinaman land are you”

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      58
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      3 months ago

      Honest question here. It’s something I avoid asking most of the time because I’m not sure whether or not it’s appropriate, but would it be okay to ask, “where did your ancestors come from,” or would that still be offensive to a multiracial person? It’s not something that comes up regularly or anything, but occasionally I’ll end up in conversation with someone who is multiracial and clearly another American and I’ll think, “I wonder what their family story is? How did their predecessors get here? Where did they come from?” But I usually don’t ask because I don’t want to offend them.

      Obviously I wouldn’t just walk up to a stranger and ask them, I mean if I’m getting to know someone.

      Edit: I should add that I’m white, but my family history is pretty weird, so I do like to hear about others’ history regardless of their race, I just don’t want to broach the subject where it might be a sensitive one.

      • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        47
        ·
        3 months ago

        i can’t speak for all multiracial people (or anyone else for that matter). but personally any question that doesn’t pretend to be something other than it is is fine. if the thing you want to know is someone’s ancestry or ethnic background, then don’t ask “where are you from.” that’s all.

        also, still not speaking for anyone else, but i’ve gotten pretty numb to people being racist towards me, because i decided that if someone’s going to judge people by their race (or anything else they didn’t choose for themself), then there’s no reason to care what they think anyway. though i will mock and ridicule racists for the sake of others who experience suffering from racism. especially kids.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          23
          ·
          3 months ago

          Thanks for the answer, and I’m sorry you’ve become numb to the racism. It sucks that there’s even a reason to feel a need to be.

          Really, the only two times I could imagine asking someone where they were from no matter what they looked like is if they had an especially weird accent, and I would probably precede it with, “you have an interesting accent,” or if I found out we were both from the same state, so I’d be asking them where in the state. Otherwise, it’s kind of a stupid question to ask of anyone most of the time, at least in the U.S., even if you aren’t trying to be a bigot.

          • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            19
            ·
            3 months ago

            things are getting better though–unlike the kids around me when i was a kid, i see the younger generations today being much more accepting and welcoming of different races, gender identities, sexual orientations, etc., because the racist white supremacist greatest fear is actually coming true: the country is becoming more and more diverse, more inclusive, and more equitable. and they want to stop it at all costs. that’s why we’re having to waste time arguing about DEI and CRT and gay books in the library and yes, kamala IS black, and yes, kamala IS indian–gasp at the same. time.

            i dont’ see the numbness i feel for myself as a bad thing; it keeps me sane. and i still feel pain for other people who are victims of racism. not everyone is at a point where they can acknowledge these emotions and then let them pass away as they arise. so i will still speak out and condemn racism at every opportunity

            • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              17
              ·
              3 months ago

              I can only speak for my own kid, but she has never seemed to care about anyone’s physical appearance in terms of race in her life. I’ve never given her a reason to, admittedly, but she also has grown up in a new sort of American culture where hiphop and Anime and a lot of Latino cultural influences are mainstream or becoming so. I was 7 years old before MTV allowed music videos from non-white artists. How fucked up is that? I am really glad my daughter is growing up in an environment where non-white people at the very least have a significant presence in the media and culture she consumes.

              • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                14
                ·
                3 months ago

                yea, change (read progress, another GOP pejorative) might move along slower than we would like, but it is inevitable, as long as there are people to carry it on. in some ways i’m glad i got to witness people whine and stomp their feet over black little mermaid. guess i’m not too “mature” for the occasional delicious schadenfreude-- i say make ALL the disney princesses POC

                • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  10
                  ·
                  3 months ago

                  I loved that one. People insisting that mermaids must be white. You know, like the real actual living half-fish ladies.

        • RedWeasel@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          10
          ·
          3 months ago

          So, from your answer the question “Are you from around here?” would be fine or would it sound to close to “where are you from?” ? I’ve had similar thoughts about ancestry as to @FlyingSquid, but don’t ask. Usually best not to ask if there is a high chance of offending someone.

          Honestly don’t like terms like “black-Americans”, "asian-Americans or “mexican-Americans”. I rarely here “white-Americans”, they are just Americans. Feels like a way to segregate verbally.

          • candybrie@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            8
            ·
            3 months ago

            I think “Are you from around here?” has a totally different vibe. It presupposes they might be and that you’ll take that as an answer rather than going “no, but where are you really from?”

          • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            3 months ago

            again speaking only for myself, both “where are you from” and “are you from around here” are similar in that they’re not “bad” in and of themselves, unless you’re looking for an answer that those questions aren’t asking for. the thing that’s irksome is not people wanting to know “what kind of asian” i am, but saying “where are you from” with the assumption that the answer will be some asian country (“obviously you’re not american” is the implication). just say “what’s your family’s background” or something similar.

            also pro tip, it’s not the case for me, but some people get mad when someone assumes “what kind of asian” they are. my dad, who’s full japanese, hates it when people just assume he’s chinese or korean or anything else. i’m glad i didn’t inherit whatever that’s all about

            • Acrimonious@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              6
              ·
              3 months ago

              I think I know how your dad feels. Growing up in West Coast US I didn’t understand why central Americans had such animosity towards being compared or mistaken as Mexican. Then I moved to the south. To my co workers every brown person was Mexican. “hey go ask your little amigo xy or z” was common. “what little amigo?” " The Mexican who’s got the keys to the gate" “I don’t know that guy. Also, he’s Guatemalan. See that flag hanging from his car? It’s a Guatemalan flag” I didn’t piss me off, but it made me feel a way I haven’t felt before and it’s not positive. I now get triggered when people just assume I’m Mexican. It says a lot about them and it’s not good.

              • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                4
                ·
                3 months ago

                for myself, if someone’s going to lump an entire ethnic background into one nationality, then i can already assume they’re racist and that’s all i need to know. but i never really felt like it’s an “insult” to be mistaken for chinese or korean or whatever–those people are people too, and we’re all seeing the same racism

                • Acrimonious@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  3
                  ·
                  3 months ago

                  Yep, I completely agree. It’s not so much an insult because you think less of the people you’re being mistaken for. It’s an insult that someone would be so ignorant? Racist? That to them color was the only distinguishing characteristic. I found it offensive when they would call the Guatemalans Mexican or literally any brown person. I’m Mexican btw. When I pointed it out it was always dismissed too.

      • CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        36
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        3 months ago

        As a full Asian, asking “What’s your ethnic background?” is far better than “where are you from?”

        It’s so fucking annoying when people ask me “where are you from?” Because I’ll answer “Oh, I live just a few miles away.” And then they go, “no, I mean where are you really from?” And then I’ll answer, “I’m from a few miles away you fucking racist.”

        Btw, at a funeral I got this line of questioning one too many times and actually said that.

        It’s also contextual. Asking this after a few beers and some light conversation, asking about my background is cool. But it being the first or second question makes it weird.

        Thanks for asking FlyingSquid.

        • cybervseas@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          15
          ·
          3 months ago

          “Oh, I live just a few miles away.” And then they go, “no, I mean where are you really from?” And then I’ll answer, “I’m from a few miles away you fucking racist.”

          Amen to that! As your South Asian brother I feel exactly the same, and do the same, just without the cursing.

          So, @FlyingSquid@lemmy.world, if you ask me where I’m from, accept the first answer. If you want to know my ethnicity, you can ask that. Or you can just take your time getting to know me and I might share how I identify ethnically on my own when it makes sense in our relationship.

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            8
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            3 months ago

            Just to clarify, I would not ask a mixed race person with an American accent where they were from unless it was pretty obvious I literally wanted to know where in the U.S. they were from (as in Alabama vs. North Dakota). It was more about whether or not asking about family history was a sensitive subject.

            • cybervseas@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              10
              ·
              3 months ago

              I’m not mixed race. However I am a born and raised New Yorker, and I sound it. Mixed background or not, first generation folks like me sometimes struggle with identity. It took me a while to come to grips with how Indian I am vs. how American I am. What those two terms even mean. And how I want to present myself to the world.

              I almost think of it like sexual orientation. There are times when it’s important or okay to ask, and there are times to let it come up naturally in time. And no matter what, however someone identifies you really just need to accept it.

              • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                7
                arrow-down
                2
                ·
                3 months ago

                I hope it was obvious that I would accept it, but I don’t feel like it’s the same question. One is about family history (I apparently didn’t explain very well that this is not just asking where someone is from, but where their ancestors are from) and the other is about personal sexuality.

                • cybervseas@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  9
                  ·
                  3 months ago

                  I’m rereading up the thread now and I see what you meant ♥️

                  “Ancestors” seems like a clumsy term. Has some icky feelings for me - I think because of the white power types.

                  “What’s your ethnic background?” still sounds better to me. Awkward, but less so.

        • Wrench@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          3 months ago

          I’ve gotten “dude, what the fuck are you?!” you before, which I thought was a hilarious way to breach the subject.

          I’m tall, had very long (black) hair at the time and had a dark tan. I could pass as part native, black, Hispanic, Asian, pretty much anything.

          It was a fair question.

      • BakedCatboy@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        16
        ·
        3 months ago

        Assuming the context is appropriate I think an acceptable way to ask is “what’s your heritage” - imo the important thing is not to sound like you’re assuming they’re a foreigner just because their ethnicity / appearance. I think asking about someone’s family story or where their family is from is also a good way to ask because it’s clear you’re asking about their family and not assuming that it has bearing on the person’s upbringing.

        It also can be really confusing when you’re a mixed and natural born citizen and you have no idea if “where are you from” is just smalltalk and they want to know where you grew up or if they’re assuming based on your appearance that you immigrated and assuming that the answers to “where did you grow up” and “where are your ancestors from” are 1 and the same. So personally I like when people are more specific because when asked where I’m from I’m just going to ask if they mean where I grew up or where my parents are from.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          3 months ago

          I would definitely make it clear I was asking about their family history, not them personally. I told the other person who replied that the only two times I could envision asking someone where they were from were if they had an unusual accent or if I found out we were both from the same state. I just didn’t know if it would be touching upon a sensitive topic that they get asked about way too much and it’s just not something that should be broached until you know someone pretty well.

          • BakedCatboy@lemmy.ml
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            3 months ago

            Gotcha in that case it sounds like you probably don’t have anything to worry about. People who are weird about asking where people are from without any nuance don’t seem to put that much thought into it and whether it sounds like they’re assuming immigrant status based on appearance (which is where wording can be important).

      • Aviandelight @mander.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        3 months ago

        My personal fall back to get others to open up in any type of conversation is to start talking about food. Comfort food, junk food, family recipes/traditions; it’s all good because people can’t help but share when it comes to food. I’ve learned so much about different cultures and some damn good recipes just talking about food with everyone.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          3 months ago

          Yeah, that’s how I wound up mistakenly assuming my girlfriend was Latina for our first year together. Nah turns out she was just a white lady of Mediterranean descent who was raised alongside a bunch of migrant farm workers in Tennessee and so she finds Mexican culture comfortable and grew up with a ton of Spanish.

          And I’m not saying that as a bad thing. I didn’t call her Latina because she didn’t and I just asked when she started getting into genealogy and talking about her ancestors. As far as I’m concerned the fact that she likes to decorate her home like a tacky taqueria and that she speaks Spanish when she’s too drunk are far more important than her ethnicity

      • PowerPuffKat@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        3 months ago

        Hi! Coming from another half asian, I personally find it more tasteful to ask “what is your ethnicity”.

      • kent_eh@lemmy.ca
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        edit-2
        3 months ago

        but would it be okay to ask, “where did your ancestors come from,”

        I’d suggest it would be best if someone’s racial background wasn’t made to be an important part of the conversation at all.

        At least not unless it happens to have some relevance like in relation to places they have personally experienced or languages they speak or something like that.

        Where a person’s grandparents came from isn’t (or shouldn’t be) a big deal compared to most other things about that person.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          3 months ago

          It isn’t a big deal, but family histories really interest me and I guess I’m trying to find a way to ask a multiracial person about their family history without trying to make it sound like it’s about race.

          Like I said to someone else, it’s much more informative to know that Kamala Harris’ father was not just black, but Jamaican. But if you do want to introduce race as well, it’s also more informative to know that he was also multiracial, having a parent who had a European parent. I think that can show you where a person comes from in the sense of what they consider their heritage to be. Which is not so much about race as it is about where people’s ancestors have lived in the past and what sort of cultures have been passed down through the generations.

          Does that make sense?

          • kent_eh@lemmy.ca
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            3 months ago

            The unfortunate problem is that it is such a big deal for far too many Americans. Makes the whole topic a much more complex minefield.

        • tastysnacks@programming.dev
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          3 months ago

          I disagree with this. A person’s heritage can be important. Racists attitudes can grow out of not understand a person’s culture. of course, a person’s heritage can also NOT be important. People do lose connections to the homeland and this seems to be more common in America.

          • kent_eh@lemmy.ca
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            3 months ago

            Heritage isn’t necessarily the same as the colour of your skin, though.

      • Acrimonious@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        3 months ago

        It’s different for everyone. For me, I don’t like it when strangers ask so I don’t ask when I’m the one who is curious. If it’s friends or someone getting to know me, it doesn’t matter how it’s asked. I do not mind. If I’m handing you a beer and say " that’ll be x dollars." And you respond by asking where I’m from, it bothers me. It’s the difference between getting to know someone and trying to fit them in a box. I get that sometimes people are curious but not every curiosity has to be satisfied. When I tell them that I’m from US it’s common to be followed by “fine! Where are your parents from?” That’s just weird. I’d never approach a stranger and ask about their parents.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          3 months ago

          Yeah, sorry, I meant when getting to know someone not just asking a random stranger. I didn’t know if it was something I should hold off on until I knew them really well.

          • Acrimonious@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            3 months ago

            asking about ancestry is a good way. I’ve been asked during the first conversation and it hasn’t bothered me. It helped that it was a deep conversation and the topic was somewhat relevant. It makes all the difference if someone is trying to get to know you. I understand I look ethnically ambiguous and if I were trying to get to know me I’d be curious too.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          3 months ago

          That seems to me to be almost as bad as “where are you from?” It’s not something white people are usually asked after all.

          • margaritox@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            edit-2
            3 months ago

            Neither would a black person who doesn’t have an accent. And white person is most likely not going to be asked “where are your ancestors from either”. But is it really so bad to be curious about a person’s ancestral background? Definitely tacky to have it be one of the first questions you ask though.

    • Wrench@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      36
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      3 months ago

      Half Asian here. At least in my experience, those questions don’t tend to come from a place of malice, just a genuine curiosity of ethnic background since they can’t figure it out by look.

      Sure, there are some racists too. But I’ve had plenty of ambivalent conversations that start off that way. Beats starting a conversation on weather or other generic topics.

      • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        20
        ·
        3 months ago

        i prefer to assume positive intent whenever i can. then i read things like the title of this post.

      • Graphy@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        3 months ago

        Half Asian here and yeah I never assume someone’s coming from a bad place when they ask.

        I hope people don’t become too afraid to ask where someone’s from in fear of looking racist or some dumb shit. It’s natural to be curious and I’ve had people take guesses from Indian to India.

    • Blackmist@feddit.uk
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      26
      ·
      3 months ago

      Meanwhile my wife is from overseas. But because she’s white, they’ll quite happily let her know about all their xenophobia and racism, because they think she’s one of them.

      “Not you, you’re one of the good ones” is trotted out constantly among those who suddenly remember who they’re talking to.

    • eldavi@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      25
      ·
      edit-2
      3 months ago

      because obviously you can’t be from anywhere in the states

      try it with native american ancestory that is no longer native due to the pogroms in the 19th & 20th centuries; it doesn’t matter that we were here first, we truly can’t be from here anymore because nearly all of the ones who lived on this side of the border were genocided out of existence so now we have to get permission to live on the land we’ve been inhabiting for thousands of years.

      the icing on this cake is pointing this out brands you a malcontent for doing so.

      • dogslayeggs@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        3 months ago

        And then you also get a bunch of white people (like me until a few years ago) who think it’s a point of pride they are 1/16th Cherokee without realizing it likely means their great great grandmother was raped by a white guy. My great great grandparents were married, but I have no idea whether it was a forced marriage by him stealing her or if it was a love marriage.

        • eldavi@lemmy.ml
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          7
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          3 months ago

          i always felt that the cherokee great great grandma thing was a nicer/kinder american version of the mexican thing.

          dna tests have confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt that the european contribution to modern mexicans is extremely minimal and very concentrated in the few places where it becomes statistically significant enough to measure, but the popular cultural consensus minimizes native contribution; meaning that the great great grandma raping was at such a hugely pervasive scale that it literally created countries all throughout latin america full of people that have actively chosen to forget about all the great great grandma rape.

          i used to think that it was a crazy one-off occurrence from a century ago and that any sane person today would never cooperate with that kind of groupthink in the modern day; but hearing people on lemmyverse and reddit minimizing an active genocide is merely a “privileged single issue voter perspective” and i think i’m starting to understand how that great great cherokee grandma story came into existence.

        • SeaJ
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          3 months ago

          Most people who claim they are 1/16th or 1/32nd native are not at all. It is a very popular family myth. My mom told me that her mother said her great grandmother was native. I viewed that as possible since my grandmother was an orphan. I did 23andme and there is no native American. I also went through ancestry.com to build out my family tree and indeed there was no native American in there. The 60s and 70s were a period of growing acknowledgement of Native communities and I feel like that was kind of a way that people made it seem like they were at least nominally supportive.

          Or it was just one of the batty things about my grandmother. Orphanages back then were simply work houses. You did school for a little bit and then went to work manufacturing. The discipline must have been pretty strict considering one of the teachers beat her so bad that she lost an eye.

          • dogslayeggs@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            3 months ago

            I’ve seen pictures of my great great grandma and have spent time hanging out with my (half or full, can’t remember anymore) Cherokee cousins, so I know my case isn’t a family myth. But I have basically no connection to Native Americans outside of a couple weekends spent at my great grandma’s house when I was a young kid, so I no longer claim any connection on the chance the family didn’t have the happiest start.

    • SeaJ
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      25
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      3 months ago

      That reminds me of the scene in Parks and Rec where someone asks where Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari) is from. He responds Illinois. Then the person asks “but where are your parents from?” He responds “Georgia.”

    • Acrimonious@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      24
      ·
      3 months ago

      I lived in Tennessee for a few years. I’ve never been greeted so many times with “do you speak English?” Sometimes I’d just be like “nah!” And walk away.

    • doctordevice@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      20
      ·
      3 months ago

      I really hate that racists have ruined a perfectly good question. I often want to actually ask people where in the US they’re from, but I can’t ask the straightforward “where are you from?” if the person isn’t white because I know it can easily be interpreted as the racist version.

      Instead I now ask “are you from [city we’re in]?” to try to make it clear I’m assuming they’re from the US.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        3 months ago

        “You’ve got a bit of an accent where in the country are you from?”

        “Are you originally from around here?”

        And various other phrasings can take the racist edge off of it. It also helps avoid people answering that their family is Vietnamese when you really want to know that they’re from Dayton.

        • doctordevice@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          3 months ago

          Good suggestions, and yeah if someone has an accent I’m trying to identify I’ll usually ask about the accent and region I think it’s from.

          I still feel a slight ick from “originally.” And usually I’m talking with people from my general region and I’m really just asking what local town they grew up in, so it’s sometimes more “did you grow up in [current location, or area they’re talking about]?”

    • IamSparticles@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      17
      ·
      3 months ago

      My grandmother on my mother’s side was Chinese-American. She and my grandfather met in Hawaii during WW2, and that’s where my mom was raised, so we observed a lot of Hawaiian and Chinese traditions when I was growing up.

      My grandfather on my father’s side was raised Jewish by Romanian immigrants, but converted to Christianity, and my father eventually became an atheist. But we still occasionally celebrated certain Jewish holidays to honor his ancestors. My dad’s mother was the child of German immigrants. She taught me to make some delicious German treats.

      For my part, I pass completely as white (I’m a super pale ginger). But I’m proud of all my heritage, and my whole life I’ve hated questions on forms that ask me to pick one. If there’s an “other” option or a “prefer not to answer” option, that’s what I pick.

      Ancestry isn’t a box you check, it’s a story you tell.

    • nednobbins
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      edit-2
      3 months ago

      I always take the opportunity to mess with people who ask me that question.

      Where are you from? - (a city in the US).
      Where did you move from. - (an other city in the US).
      Where where you born. - (a city in Europe).
      Uhhh… So uh… I mean… What’s the… <starts sweating about a politely way to say, “the not-white part”>

    • Farid@startrek.website
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      3 months ago

      I’m not American and don’t live there, but “where are you from” shouldn’t be offensive, unless you’re native American. Just normalize asking white people where they are from, too.

      • dogslayeggs@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        3 months ago

        It’s because the question is weaponized. It makes the assumption that just because you don’t look like me that you can’t possibly be a “real” American. And asking the same in reverse doesn’t work, because white people in the US love saying where their ancestors are from.

        • Farid@startrek.website
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          3 months ago

          My response is mostly a joke anyway. But how’s their originally being from somewhere else different from an Asian person’s originally being from somewhere else?

          • dogslayeggs@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            3 months ago

            But how’s their originally being from somewhere else different from an Asian person’s originally being from somewhere else?

            Because in their heads, being from Europe is normal and being from Asia is weird at best and bad at worst. It’s an assumption that if you don’t look like them then you aren’t from here. The next step is if you aren’t from here then you don’t belong here.

            If they were to ask a white person in the US where they were from and the person answered, “Pittsburgh,” then the conversation would move to something about sports. What always happens and is very annoying is that when the same question asked to an Asian person with the same answer of Pittsburgh, the next topic NEVER moves to sports or weather or how many bridges the city has (a lot). The next question is always a probe to find out where you REALLY are from, because you sure as shit aren’t from America. If you were a real American you wouldn’t have eyes that looked like that. It’s a way to prove in their head that, even though you were born in the US and love football and drive a truck, there’s an anchor that makes you anything other than American.

            • Farid@startrek.website
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              3 months ago

              I wouldn’t say that being racist is necessarily about the inability to think logically or rationally. It’s sometimes that, of course, but sometimes it’s because they just never tried to think about it. Their life experiences just never put them in that situation.
              But most often, I think, it’s because they can think logically, have tried to think logically, but the conclusions would make them feel less superior and thus they encounter a mental block. In other words, it’s about insecurity, first and foremost.

    • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      3 months ago

      I asked the question to a mixed race Asian guy. Not because I care about what country half his family originally came from, but because he was the first Asian guy I met that had a deep southern accent.

      • v_krishna@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        arrow-down
        6
        ·
        3 months ago

        Jesus people don’t even see how racist they are, pretty sad.

        Hint - it was quite racist of you to ask that of somebody because they didn’t match your stereotypes.

        • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          3 months ago

          Racist: characterized by or showing prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

          I was none of those things. I was genuinely interested in him simply because it’s not something I had run across before. It’s quite ignorant of you to assume my intentions or actions outside of that.

          For example, the first time I heard an accent that sounded like my grandfather’s outside of visiting his family (my extended family) I asked where she was from because I was curious if it was near there. If someone says they’re from a state I have lived in I ask where from because we may have some common experiences.

          But I guess since I’m a racist now I’ll never ask anyone again. I’ll just be who you have decided I am.

          • havocpants
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            3 months ago

            I don’t think being interested in other people makes you racist.

            • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              3 months ago

              Appreciate it. I don’t either. Maybe the way I said it came across as weird to that other person. Maybe they’re having a bad day. Hell, there are so many racist dog whistles out there that it’s possible I’ve stumbled upon one without realizing it, even though my intention was to find out more, not to “other” him.

              Wouldn’t be the first time that, without context, I’ve accidentally said something that came across as fucked up to someone.

              • v_krishna@lemmy.ml
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                2
                arrow-down
                2
                ·
                edit-2
                3 months ago

                I’m glad you’ve got the freedom to say whatever you want and be like “oh dang sorry didn’t mean to offend you” (and act like a victim when you get called out on your language being offensive). For those of us who aren’t white we don’t get such luxuries. Aka your actions (whether you mean it or not doesn’t fucking matter) are RACIST

                Edit cause I’ll actually engage instead of being pissed. You are saying very explicitly with that question that Asian folks don’t belong in the south, are alien to it, and are a curiosity. As a south Asian who lived in the south for a number of years the number of yokel ass motherfuckers who had the same attitude is too many to count (dwarfed only by the number of people who were just straight up explicitly racist). We aren’t here to satiate your curiosity and if you can’t grasp that I dunno what to tell you. Grand on you for being an enlightened centrist, asking a “foreign” person where they are really from (esp in a place with a strong history of systemic racism like the south) ain’t cool, full stop.

                • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  arrow-down
                  2
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  3 months ago

                  Ok, I learned that you’re just a jackass. Cool. Now there’s no need to interact with you ever again. Go fuck yourself.

                  Edit: cool, I’m a racist. I promise never to interact or show any interest with anyone of another race again. I’ll let them know that you told me that showing interest in another person’s unique story and finding commonalities between others and myself makes me a racist.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    70
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    3 months ago

    I think we go with his logic and make sure Republicans know we’re agreeing with them:

    Kamala Harris has an Indian mother and a black father. Therefore, she is Indian.

    Barack Obama has a white mother and a black father. Therefore, he is white.

    I’m not sure when we’ll get our first black president, but I look forward to our first Indian president.

  • NatakuNox@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    55
    ·
    3 months ago

    Yup I’m a quarter white, and watching my racist school system sit me down and tell me I couldn’t put white on my SAT survey was eye opening. They were so concerned that they needed to see pictures of my parents and have written proof of my heritage.

    • Scrollone@feddit.it
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      32
      ·
      3 months ago

      I’m Italian and just the thought of an official form asking for your race looks completely crazy and fucked up. Also, it would be completely illegal here.

      Why are the US so f-cked up?

      • NatakuNox@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        25
        ·
        3 months ago

        The US has a very complicated history with race. And demographic data is important in the right hands to resolve issues our history created, but in the wrong hands…

    • Animated_beans@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      12
      ·
      3 months ago

      I was so hoping you were going to say that they discouraged you from putting white so that it opened you up for diversity-based scholarships. I am so disappointed to hear that was not the case. What they did is really messed up.

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    54
    ·
    3 months ago

    Why is this hard for people to understand‽

    Like I’m white as the first 41 presidents, but it’s always just seemed fucking obvious that mixed race and mixed ethnicity people are just simultaneously both.

    • BreadstickNinja@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      27
      ·
      3 months ago

      Even for white people - haven’t you ever heard someone say something like, “I’m German and Irish on my mother’s side”?

      The idea of having two different heritages is completely common and obvious. It’s not that Trump or other Republicans are having trouble wrapping their heads around the concept. It’s a racist attack, plain and simple.

      • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        3 months ago

        I’m still confused as to who they are trying to convince that Harris isn’t really black. Whose vote would change from Harris to Trump based on Trump claiming she isn’t really black? Or, if he’s not after votes, what will believing she’s not really black change for how his own followers see things if he loses?

        Or does he think he’s out of the water as far as his legal troubles go and maybe he’s just trying to exit gracefully without making his base turn on him by making it look like he’s still fighting?

        • BreadstickNinja@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          3 months ago

          Trump was making modest gains with black voters, who have since surged in support for Harris. His message was as simple as “She’s not really one of you” because he’s upset he’s losing support.

          Trump is butthurt anytime someone doesn’t like him - any individual, any constituency. It’s just the same narcissism he always shows.

          • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            3 months ago

            Yeah ok, that angle does make a kind of sense. Since he was getting support from them, he assumed they thought like him and that this would be an effective argument.

    • redisdead@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      23
      ·
      3 months ago

      You have the ability to form thoughts, this puts you about above 90% of the average conservative fan base.

    • nednobbins
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      3 months ago

      Unfortunately, the experience of being mixed race is a bit more complicated than that.

      There are several groups that see me as a potential member but it’s usually qualified with an implied “half-member”. There’s really no group that looks at me and instinctively says, “One of us.”

  • Yambu@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    44
    ·
    3 months ago

    If you vote for Trump as a POC you’re not the brightest bulb anyway. He’s openly racist lol

    • But what if you’re a POC and a billionaire who believes Trump will make you wealthier?

      At least my parents won’t vote republican because of homophobia. They’re convinced dems will take all their money to give to immigrants and black people and force them to use paper straws…

    • denkrishna@midwest.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      3 months ago

      The incidious persistence of many systems of oppression can often be at least partially attributed to people in the “middle tears” actively participating in the system simply to avoid being the bottom rung…

      To some, a candidate that will prop them up at the expense of a different group is a subconscious survival adaptation

      So I wouldn’t say they’re dumb necessarily, just that they’ve been indoctrinated from childhood into the same system that keeps them down

      (I say this as an Asian American that has had to really struggle with the duality of how I treated black and indigenous people in the past, during times when I understood and personally experienced the ill effects of racism. Time when I recognized and accepted that racism exists and claimed it unfair when it happened to me)

    • CitizenKong@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      26
      ·
      edit-2
      3 months ago

      In Obama’s case, he had an estranged father in Kenya who died in 1982. Kamala’s father is a tenured economy professor at Stanford (first black scholar granted tenure at Stanford too) and very much still alive at 85.

      Kind of hard to sow doubts about her birth, when her father is not only living in the US, but also as an authority figure.

      • SeaJ
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        15
        ·
        3 months ago

        You are assuming that the birthers use logic. If that was the case, they would not have cared where Obama was born because his mother was an American born in Kansas. That would make him American even if he was born in Kenya or Canada (like Ted Cruz).

        • VerdantSporeSeasoning@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          3 months ago

          I hear your point, and you’re not wrong that certain birthers just won’t listen. Obama had neither of the people involved in this birth, his parents, around to speak about the conditions of his birth. Harris, though, will have people able to say, “No, I was there, I remember how it happened” in her corner.

    • Match!!@pawb.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      3 months ago

      i hope they do and kamala responds with the epstein flight logs with trump on em

    • andros_rex@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      3 months ago

      They’re planning on attacking birthright citizenship anyway, so it matters less. The angle is going to be that both of her parents were immigrants.

  • aesthelete@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    20
    ·
    3 months ago

    This is exactly the kind of thing intersectionality provides. You can attack her for being too black, not black enough, etc and with each attack you’re misfiring into the crowd. A minority in this country are black or asian or Kamala’s exact racial and gender makeup, but a majority of people belong to one “out” group or another.

    • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      18
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      3 months ago

      This is what happens when our leaders are a decade plus over retirement age.

      People forget Bill and Obama were in their 40s, for some reason we just forgot we could run younger candidates

      Kamala really should be the upper age range we look at for first term presidents. If everything goes well they’re signing up for an 8 year commitment.

    • kent_eh@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      3 months ago

      I can’t believe we’re not over all this trivial shit.

      Maybe one day Dr.King’s dream will come true.

      I’m increasingly annoyed that it won’t be during my lifetime, though.

      Hopefully my kids will live long enough to see it happen.

    • Seleni@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      3 months ago

      Thin of those white kids screaming at the little black girls coming into their school (under military escort for safety) back in 1957, those white teens spitting on black teens doing soda fountain sit-ins in the 60s… and remember they’re adults now, with kids and even grandkids of their own.

      Do you really think they taught their families to be open-hearted and to respect people of color?

      This issue is getting better, but it’s got a long way to go yet. Things like this echo through time.

  • nifty@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    edit-2
    3 months ago

    To the mixed race or non-white people in this thread, just start asking white people where they’re from. Heck, if someone asks you where you’re from, it’s only polite to return the curiosity

    Edit: if they say US born and raised, then ask but where are your ancestors from?

    • samus12345@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      3 months ago

      “Where are you from” should never mean ethnicity, but only where that person has lived. “What is your ancestry/ethnicity” should be specified if that’s what you’re asking about. No white person with an American accent would think anything of being asked where they’re from and will respond with where they’ve lived.

      • nifty@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        3 months ago

        I know, I agree. I am speaking to the experience of people who get asked that question with a follow up of but where are you really from or some alternative. I mean, it’s totally innocuous and innocent question, but sometimes people use it in a weird way even if they don’t mean a bad thing by it. Because of our history of racism with each other (I mean humans), people are naturally sensitive about race. Things don’t exist in a vacuum

        This persons story: https://hbr.org/2020/10/whats-wrong-with-asking-where-are-you-from

        Four years ago, I moved to New York to start pursuing my journalism degree at a graduate program in the city. I spent my first week researching and reporting an audio story about the local farmer’s market. When I handed it in, my professor looked down at the script I had written, looked back up at me, and said, “Your English is good. Where are you from?”

        While that was supposed to be a compliment, it didn’t feel like a pat on the back. Whether it was based on how I looked, sounded, or information the professor had gathered about me beforehand, their tone implied that, because I was an international student, my ability to write English well (or not) was tied to my geographical and cultural background. I was confused and hurt.

    • numberfour002@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      3 months ago

      Out of curiosity, can you explain what effect you believe this might have?

      I am glad to be wrong, but I feel like most white people in the USA wouldn’t be offended or even find that to be a strange question. They’ll just answer it as best they can: Florida, Sacramento, born in Boise but raised in Fairfield. Or if you press about ancestry, most white folks will gladly say French-German, Irish, etc and then maybe even ask you the same thing because they’re genuinely curious and because it’s a natural way for an otherwise polite, as you put it, conversation to steer once the topic has come up. Probably most wouldn’t even recognize if another person were asking that question specifically to make a point about racism/prejudice/etc.

      I really doubt that many white people have had these types of questions weaponized against them so unless they are made aware of how offensive it can be or how it betrays their own biases/prejudices (which we all have by the way), they may not even know. I would think that explaining how those questions impact you negatively in a supportive and understanding way will get you much further with most people than being retaliatory or intentionally inflammatory.

      • nifty@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        3 months ago

        For me, it’s not about offending but about invoking empathy in case the other person does it in a way to “other” someone. If someone’s question is innocent, then no harm done. You’re just having a chill conversation. If their question is not innocent, then maybe it might invoke empathy or also maybe annoy them

        • numberfour002@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          3 months ago

          In your original comment that I responded to, it sounded like you’re making the case that mixed and non-white people should start asking white people those questions as a matter of policy, and not just those times when a specific white person asked first. That’s why I was curious what you thought the effect would be.

          That being said, even if you meant that people should only return the question if the white person asked first, that’s something which would just be normal and instinctual for most folks, I would think? Like if someone I’m getting to know asked me my favorite color, I’d probably follow up with the same question after I gave them my answer. So it seemed a bit weird to see a call to action to do something that I would have otherwise thought most people would already be doing (at least in my experience, which I certainly am open to the possibility that my experience is atypical of what racial minorities endure).

          And although I am white, and thus I’m certainly coming from a place of privilege, I am a minority (lgbt) and have had my fair share of experience with inappropriate and/or weaponized questions, so I’m not coming from this from a place of complete naivety. I’m certainly aware that sometimes people will ask questions like “are you the boy or the girl in the relationship” from a place of authentic and unintentional ignorance, but that it’s quite often coming from people whose intent is to be derogatory.

      • whoisearth@lemmy.ca
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        3 months ago

        I think this is a uniquely American experience tbh. In Canada people have no problem being asked their background and I’m sure the same could be said in other countries.

        To your point, race in America has been intentionally weaponized.

        • Adderbox76@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          5
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          3 months ago

          One of my professors said something that always stuck with me.

          Canada is a mosaic. America is a meting pot.

          (Yes I know he didn’t coin the phrase). But he was the first who sort of explained it in a way that I truly understood.

          In a multicultural America, you’re American first, ethnicity second. The impetus is to conform with the dominant culture and pretty much just keep your ethnic culture in your own home and own small communities.

          Here in Canada, we are a mosaic. Every culture contributes the best (and worst) parts of their culture/heritage to the whole. There is no “Canadian” default culture. Its just a blend of everyone who comes to live here. **

          **offer not valid in Saskatchewan, Alberta and Manitoba.

          • whoisearth@lemmy.ca
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            3 months ago

            Canada is a mosaic. America is a meting pot.

            Read John Rolston-Saul. He’s been very thorough explaining this. He puts a lot of it on the history of our country. Unlike America, Canada is a network of lakes and rivers. You can’t just ride a horse from A to B you will need to Portage. This meant the early settlers had no choice but to work with the indigenous peoples on the land as it was so foreign to the lands in Europe or America.

            • Adderbox76@lemmy.ca
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              3 months ago

              John Rolston-Saul

              I have, actually. Mostly on the advice of that very same professor. (and also to impress a girl that was into that kind of thing)

              I’d be lying if I said I understood most of Voltaire’s Bastards (I’m intelligent, but not THAT intelligent). But that was nearly 30 years ago now, so maybe I’d understand it more now that I’m older and more educated.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        3 months ago

        Yeah if you want to make it sting you need to add an “oh” or some form of judgement to the answer. White American culture is proud of our history as immigrants, it’s just also racist and anti current or recent immigrants.

    • whoisearth@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      3 months ago

      Ok as a non-racist white dude but I grew up in a small town and will admit to ignorance. I don’t get the problem here.

      I don’t care where you’re from I will ask your background it’s more how you ask. I work with lots of people all over the world and I love learning about new cultures. If you’re black maybe you’re Nigerian or Kenyan. I don’t fucking know the difference I just hear a weird accent so I get curious.

      Now the rub to me is how you ask and are you being sincere. Let’s stop demonizing people for innocently asking “so where are you from?”

      For context I live in Toronto so very, very multicultural. I have friends from every background, but why hide wanting to expand your knowledge?

      I wonder if part of the American problem is the fact that they continue to not come to terms with the fact that they’re racist AF?

      I’m genuinely curious.

      • dogslayeggs@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        10
        ·
        3 months ago

        It’s because the question gets weaponized or used as a micro-aggression. Because of a person’s skin color they can’t possibly be a “real” American, right? Usually, the person can tell by your tone of voice or phrasing when you ask the question whether you are just curious to learn more about them or if you’re a racist dick. But either way, the question comes at them so often that they bristle when they hear it even when it is asked out of curiosity.

      • vxx@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        edit-2
        3 months ago

        You made the distinction that you ask when they have an accent. That’s different to just assuming they must be from anywhere else because they’re black.

        Imagine how that feels? Not the first or second time, but after the hundredth time…

        It’s ignorant at least, racist at worst.

      • nifty@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        3 months ago

        Tbh, I am okay with people who ask it if they’re just curious and not trying to bring it up in a weird way to other you. People can tell from the context

    • dogslayeggs@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      4
      ·
      3 months ago

      That will accomplish nothing. White people in the US love saying both where we are from and where we know/think our ancestors are from. It’s a common question for white people to ask other white people. White people in the US are so proud to say they are Irish or German or “Italian on my mother’s side!” It’s like we crave to have something interesting about ourselves since the US is a bit generic, while also being fiercely proud of being from the US. Heck, it’s also easy to find people who act proud of being 1/16th Native American… without realizing the reason you’re 1/16th is because your great great grandfather stole your great great grandmother from her parents.

      • nifty@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        3 months ago

        That sounds great, I don’t mind people who are genuinely curious and just want to share.

  • Media Bias Fact Checker@lemmy.worldB
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    arrow-down
    13
    ·
    3 months ago