I’m going for a piss
Oh yeah, want some help with that?
I’d probably try outside if I was going to let a woman try to hold it and aim, otherwise they’re gonna miss from just piss-poor aim or I’d start getting hard and that would make it even harder to aim.
Aloud.
Yeah, that made my brain short out for a second. :p
It never stops being scary seeing adult and married people unable to do things you expect children to get right.
Ehhhh, I dawnt reely no if it matters to much. Wut reely matters is that a purson can bee under stood. Thats the point of langwege.
I no a man hoo rites like this and calls PayPal pay pow, but he is a numbers jeenyus hoo duz complex calculashins n his hed like yoo hav nevur seen.
He can’t spell his damn name to save his life, but he’s a genius in ways that constantly blow me away. He draws complex diagrams by hand of every system he builds by hand. If anyone were ever to work behind him on something they’re very familiar with, they’d have to tear it all down and rebuild it because he just invents his own way as he goes. He has no real education either. I can’t imagine what kind of powerhouse he could be if he’d ever been afforded a chance to really learn.
I’d trade my abilities with written language for his skills any day.
I read your first paragraph before giving up. You can’t be understood if people give up communicating with you entirely.
You’re better than me. I didn’t even make it through the first sentence before I collapsed the comment and moved on lol.
Maybe she should try more quietly.
I like how they censor the “C” in dick so it’s just “DIK”
I found that funnier than the whole rest of it lol
dik was an animation studio once upon a time
I instantly heard it. DEEK
deleted by creator
pissing all by yourself, handsome?
Not anymore.
Tried this once, wife’s aim was terrible. Was years ago, may try again at some point XD
To be fair to your wife, we have been practicing with it since we were toddlers.
And she’s only getting half of the controls with no coordination between the two. She doesn’t know how strong of a stream you’re giving her and you can’t adjust it based on where she plans to point your dick.
Standing to pee is a learned skill. Trans guys who buy a stand to pee device are all recommended to practice in the shower first.
It certainly is! That’s really interesting. I didn’t even consider how transitioning changes the way one would use the toilet. I can totally see needing to practice in the shower with the device.
Still a better love story than twilight.
my prostate would switch to happy mode and probably wouldn’t be able to pee
It’s difficult but not impossible
Hard Mode
The competition is stiff.
You woodn’t think it’s possible
You can cheat by doing it right after ejaculation.
aloud
That’s quite the sound
Nonono, peeing is when stuff comes out. Sounding is when stuff goes in. Easy mistake to make.
A great shitpost about pee … beautifully done … now I gotta go pee … by myself … with no one holding my pee pee … so they don’t do a helicopter while I pee
You can hold it and copter yourself
Coptering a feel
Reminds me of the almighty Hippopotamus doing the helicopter with his tail while taking a dump. Shit hits the fan. Shits supergreen too. When I see a pond full of algae I am careful, hippo might be closeby…
And the funny thing is, as over the top satirical as you’re being, it’s not actually bad advice. More people die from hippo attacks than sharks or alligators.
Hippos are big dumb assholes, but they are POWERFULL!!! You don’t fuck with hippos, you don’t fuck with moose, and you don’t fuck with polar bears.
You know that phrase about bears? If it’s it’s brown, lay down. If it’s black, fight back."? Well hippos have a phrase too.
“If it’s a hippo, fuck you!”
Luckily we only have the tardigrades where I am from, those microscopic bears.
Damn are you living in Earth’s upper atmosphere?
My wife asked for this. Lol
I’ve definitely let my wife write her name.
His flacid dick is big enough for her to hold?
Boy… Do I have some bad news for you sir…
I think it’s average when erect. I ain’t really worried about it either way. Guess I set myself up for that.
Do you have the heart? I feel like someone should say something, but I’m no good at this kind of conversation.
I think I’m gonna just cut out my eyes
Why tho? That was such a tame post
Melon baller
I do this alone for fun.
Stay back, cum walls. This is a piss ceiling house.
That’s the old Johnson house. Most folks don’t go near. Mind the holes in the wall, you hear.
They’re load bearing walls.
Oh don’t touch that. That’s a load bearing cum stain.
Who let this 11 year old get married? Who let this child hold their husband’s member?